Friending: Is SheWrites more MySpace or more Facebook?

Hi all,

On MySpace (which I don't use), people friend each other at the drop of a hat.
On Facebook (which I do), most people seem to only friend people they actually know in real-life, or at least know outside the Facebook universe. At least, that's how I use that social network.

But what about SheWrites?
Do you send friend requests only to members who will know your name from other circles?
Do you send friend requests to members who have written a blog post that has resonated with you or posted something that speaks to you on a forum discussion?
Do you send friend requests to members whose work you've read and admired, though they don't know you from Eve?

What's the culture here? Or perhaps a better question: what do we want the culture to be here?

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Well, here's my penn'orth on this one.
I'm mainly here to connect with women writing on or engaged in similar issues to me, but who I would otherwise be unlikely to get in touch with - especially since at present SheWrites seems to be mainly US-based, although it is slowly going fairly global, so it's a place I can connect to inspiring women with whom I appear to have something in common. If I want to get in touch with people I already know, I'll email them, call them or meet up for beers or tea. I've been doing the "sending friend requests to members whose work you've read and admired, though they don't know you from Eve" bit, but in a very limited way, and I don't think I've annoyed anyone yet, or 'friended' anyone who I couldn't potentially have something to offer to as well as vice versa.
Unlike my experience of Facebook, I won't expect people to spam me, 'like' my posts or send me weird questionnaires, cyber-gifts and other distractions. Unlike my experience of Myspace, the site will be well designed and usable and not full of people trying to sell me bad music or porn!
Rather than Myspace or FB, I've been thinking of this more like LinkedIn, but friendlier - somewhere for mutual support, tips and information in the broadest 'professional sense' - ie to do primarily with writing, how to do it, how to promote it, how to recover from it at the end of the day!, how to earn a sustainable living from it if that's what we're after. So perhaps that's not just about when/who we 'friend', but also about what that means in terms of not spamming, not developing ways to send round myriad small graphics of pandas/cocktails/shoes, keeping an eye on the fact that the site is about writing and not about the details of people's love lives/pets/gardening (unless that's what they write about...).
Feel free to disagree!
I'm looking for other women writers. I want encouragement with my own writing and likewise encourage others. What type of writing do you do? Beverly C
Well said, Sarah. I haven't any My Space experience to work from, but I try to keep Facebook limited to people I know and have some kind of face to face relationship with. She Writes has been great for meeting and interacting with amazing women writers (and mothers) as well as helping me learn the blogging ropes. And so far, its done a tremendous job.

-V

Sarah Irving said:
Well, here's my penn'orth on this one.
I'm mainly here to connect with women writing on or engaged in similar issues to me, but who I would otherwise be unlikely to get in touch with - especially since at present SheWrites seems to be mainly US-based, although it is slowly going fairly global, so it's a place I can connect to inspiring women with whom I appear to have something in common. If I want to get in touch with people I already know, I'll email them, call them or meet up for beers or tea. I've been doing the "sending friend requests to members whose work you've read and admired, though they don't know you from Eve" bit, but in a very limited way, and I don't think I've annoyed anyone yet, or 'friended' anyone who I couldn't potentially have something to offer to as well as vice versa.
Unlike my experience of Facebook, I won't expect people to spam me, 'like' my posts or send me weird questionnaires, cyber-gifts and other distractions. Unlike my experience of Myspace, the site will be well designed and usable and not full of people trying to sell me bad music or porn!
Rather than Myspace or FB, I've been thinking of this more like LinkedIn, but friendlier - somewhere for mutual support, tips and information in the broadest 'professional sense' - ie to do primarily with writing, how to do it, how to promote it, how to recover from it at the end of the day!, how to earn a sustainable living from it if that's what we're after. So perhaps that's not just about when/who we 'friend', but also about what that means in terms of not spamming, not developing ways to send round myriad small graphics of pandas/cocktails/shoes, keeping an eye on the fact that the site is about writing and not about the details of people's love lives/pets/gardening (unless that's what they write about...).
Feel free to disagree!
Hey,
Thanks for all your responses!
Beverly: I write primarily creative nonfiction. Occasionally personal essays, occasionally blog posts (at momentia.wordpress.com). I'm working on two long projects: fiction loosely based on my relationship with my family from 1985-1991, and the one that's more developed is a book on how children develop political ideology and the idea of 'ideological environment'.

I am wanting to befriend people but am still feeling shy about it! So I'm trying in little trickles of attempts and we'll see how it goes!

I'm excited to be here, though. :)
It's the laws of chaos, if you ask me, and I love that free-floating inspiration. A comment here that stirs me, a face there that instantly intrigues me, a book title or cover that makes me curious enough to go to the library or to Amazon at the drop of a hat and read it and send a comment... The excitement of a stranger sending a message to my group (Diary to Fiction) or responding to a comment of mine... I am new to the game and so far, have played it completely by ear, inviting anybody who speaks to me. It feels a lot like the old feminist web of global contacts, just in the "golden bowl" of writing, women's writing.
For me, SheWrites is a place and a chance to connect with people who write, regardless of where they sit in the big scheme of things. I'm super new so I haven't even begun to think about sending friend requests or anything like that, I've just been browsing the groups and seeing who outs there doing what. I'm one of those writers that likes to meet-up with people, discuss plots, ideas etc over coffee or beer but no longer have that luxury, so sites like these, act as a kind of substitute. I think this site does different things for different people but its main objective remains the same, which is to connect everyone.
Exactly, Maryanne - connecting everyone is the objective. I friend authors that I have read, or if I see we have the same interests, or if they simply sound interesting. I see this as a space where women writers can encourage each other, provide constructive criticism and help, and guide others. It's a supportive space of sorts, which is what I like most about it.
Hello,

I'll answer your questions in order, LOL.


But what about SheWrites?

Do you send friend requests only to members who will know your name from other circles?

A bit of history about me, I am on many Ning sites and I rarely send friend requests. It's not because I don't love the folks on these sites, I do. It's because I hang out in the forums mostly and I'd rather communicate this way. I used to send friend requests, but for me, it's not necessary because you can still interact with folks in other ways. I also must admit that I stopped sending FR because of all the spam I get on these Ning sites. You never know who you are sending a request to. I have tons of friends on other sites outside of Ning that are also on my Ning sites and I don't send them FR, just because to me it doesn't serve much of a purpose. Since I hang out on the forums and groups mostly, that's where I interact so folks can talk to me there or send me an inbox message.


Do you send friend requests to members who have written a blog post that has resonated with you or posted something that speaks to you on a forum discussion?

See above answer, LOL.

Do you send friend requests to members whose work you've read and admired, though they don't know you from Eve?

I probably would but I'd send them a message before I sent a friend request most times. I send very, very few requests if any these days.

What's the culture here? Or perhaps a better question: what do we want the culture to be here?

It seems to be a friendly and informative group to me. I'm enjoying it so far.

Best Wishes!

http://www.stacy-deanne.net
I agree with those who have said they're here to connect with people they wouldn't otherwise meet. For me, SheWrites is more a networking and learning community than a place to only friend those who already know me. Like you said in the original post ... That's what Facebook is for. ;)

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