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Permalink Reply by Kendra L. Woods on August 18, 2011 at 7:12am
Permalink Reply by Nancy Mueller on August 15, 2011 at 6:26pm
Permalink Reply by Kendra L. Woods on August 16, 2011 at 6:45am Neighborly. But your question shows that there's confusion I need to clean up. Originally, 'neighborly' didn't exist in the sentence.
Thanks for your reply.
K
Permalink Reply by Deb McLeod on August 15, 2011 at 5:01pm
Permalink Reply by Ruth Madison on August 15, 2011 at 5:14pm
Permalink Reply by Deb McLeod on August 15, 2011 at 7:25pm
Permalink Reply by Deb McLeod on August 15, 2011 at 7:26pm
Permalink Reply by Gale Martin on August 15, 2011 at 5:52pm
Permalink Reply by Deb McLeod on August 15, 2011 at 7:26pm
Permalink Reply by Nancy Mueller on August 15, 2011 at 6:28pm
Permalink Reply by Deb McLeod on August 15, 2011 at 7:26pm
Permalink Reply by Kendra L. Woods on August 16, 2011 at 8:00am This is a powerful image. The "excarnation" is intriguing, I agree. For me, though, it's too close to the "peeled from your body like flesh from bone" language (I love this, by the way). So, it's a repetitive image. Overall, the point you're making is such a true, deep statement. The simple language of the last part works so well; this is what makes me want to read more. On that note, I think the combination of excarnation and divestiture is a mouthful for a simpleton like me...but I think others might disagree. I always lean toward simple language.
I love the image and would be interested in reading your first line of the first chapter (since this is prologue) if you'd be willing to share.
Thanks,
K
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