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Permalink Reply by Nancy Mueller on August 15, 2011 at 6:26pm
Permalink Reply by Kendra L. Woods on August 16, 2011 at 6:45am Neighborly. But your question shows that there's confusion I need to clean up. Originally, 'neighborly' didn't exist in the sentence.
Thanks for your reply.
K
Permalink Reply by Deb McLeod on August 15, 2011 at 5:01pm
Permalink Reply by Ruth Madison on August 15, 2011 at 5:14pm
Permalink Reply by Deb McLeod on August 15, 2011 at 7:25pm
Permalink Reply by Deb McLeod on August 15, 2011 at 7:26pm
Permalink Reply by Gale Martin on August 15, 2011 at 5:52pm
Permalink Reply by Deb McLeod on August 15, 2011 at 7:26pm
Permalink Reply by Nancy Mueller on August 15, 2011 at 6:28pm
Permalink Reply by Deb McLeod on August 15, 2011 at 7:26pm
Permalink Reply by Kendra L. Woods on August 16, 2011 at 8:00am This is a powerful image. The "excarnation" is intriguing, I agree. For me, though, it's too close to the "peeled from your body like flesh from bone" language (I love this, by the way). So, it's a repetitive image. Overall, the point you're making is such a true, deep statement. The simple language of the last part works so well; this is what makes me want to read more. On that note, I think the combination of excarnation and divestiture is a mouthful for a simpleton like me...but I think others might disagree. I always lean toward simple language.
I love the image and would be interested in reading your first line of the first chapter (since this is prologue) if you'd be willing to share.
Thanks,
K
Permalink Reply by Deb McLeod on August 16, 2011 at 12:37pm You are exactly right about the repetitive image. Not sure it worked so thanks for your feedback. I've gotten mixed comments on it. Of course I'll share! Thanks for asking.
The book itself starts with an epigraph (from me - not a quote):
Narcissus was fascinated with his image in the pond, and Echo,
perhaps Echo was not fascinated with Narcissus, but with his visibility.
My name is Laura but my mother often called me Ro – the name of her younger sister.
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