The first time he died, Roger “Zorro” Weitz slipped in a bathtub at the Downtowner Motel, bashed his head against the side of the toilet and passed out.
'An old friend of mine named Jean Harper fell through a tear in her marriage and landed on her feet.'
first line of my soon-to-be-published women's commercial novel The Divorced Lady's Companion to Living in Italy.
Any views? ciao catherine
I love the imagery of this. I want to know more about her - she's obviously a tough lady! And readers will want to know more about the 'tear' and how she landed on her feet.
How about jumping right to the action with "Jean Harper fell through a tear in her marriage and landed on her feet." Maybe in the next sentence you could work in the 'old friend of mine' bit.
Thank you, Alexandra. Here's the first paragraph, which shows the narrator's extent of nebative feelings even further:
“Behold the lioness in winter,” I said, trying to sound neutral but probably dripping venom as I gestured at a tiny old woman gingerly descending the Federal courthouse steps. Despite her age, and advanced osteoporosis evidenced by her extreme stooping, the ancient bitch wore a stylish pink Chanel suit with a short skirt, and a gaudy shade of red lipstick noticeable even from where I was standing. From experience, having seen her up close, I knew that lipstick was bleeding into the deep crevices around her mouth, an oddly satisfying thing to remember.