Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Ellen Estilai on August 24, 2011 at 2:00pm

There definitely is, Nancy.  This is the first line of a memoir about my years in Iran.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ellen Estilai on August 24, 2011 at 2:01pm

Oh, and thank you!

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ellen Estilai on August 24, 2011 at 2:02pm

Thanks to all for your encouraging comments!

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Kaitlin Solimine on August 26, 2011 at 11:17am

This definitely catches my attention. Strong voice established immediately. Well done!

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ellen Estilai on September 7, 2011 at 12:23pm

Thank you, Kaitlin!

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by DelRica Jackson on November 5, 2011 at 10:51am

Neat!

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Samantha Carlin on November 30, 2011 at 11:44am

Love this! Why? 1) Immediately we're set in a time -- summer 2) We know the narrator is telling a story about the past ("I was eight years old" and 3) the narrator is unique and has some sense of a perspective in the world, the outside world, that your typical eight year old doesn't have: "I wanted to be an Arab."

 

Also, it gets me wondering not only who the narrator is, but about his or her family, friends, country she/he is living in. There's a lot there in a few words. Nice work!

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ellen Estilai on November 30, 2011 at 12:30pm

Thank you, Samantha!  This is the prologue to a memoir about my years in Iran.  I'm so glad you liked it.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Samantha Carlin on November 30, 2011 at 12:33pm

You're welcome! You earned it by writing that sentence. :-)

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Rosalie Morales Kearns on August 11, 2011 at 9:51am

For those with ears to hear, voices of long-dead monks still lingered at St. Anthony of Padua’s, resonating off the stone walls and gathering like mist under the dome.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Malena Lott on August 11, 2011 at 4:20pm

Pretty language. Same meaning, but shortened for impact:

The voices of long-dead monks still lingered at St. Anthony of Padua’s, resonating off the stone walls and gathering like mist under the dome.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Rosalie Morales Kearns on August 14, 2011 at 9:41am

Thanks, Malena and Iris. I'm trying also to establish tone and pattern: both the distance of the omniscient narrator, and the main character's habit of quoting, and sometimes deliberately misquoting, biblical phrases. Granted, I don't have to do ALL that in one opening sentence . . .

• ▶ Reply

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• …
• 34
• Next ›
• Page