@Tanya, Thank you very much. I'll do that.
I like the concept and I think---particularly with the last few words---it has a good punch, but the sentences read long to me. Perhaps try breaking up the sentences? How about something along these lines?
I'm still surprised when I think of the woman who tried to get a photo of me. Not because she put so much effort into the task. And not because she thought I looked gorgeous, but because she wanted to gouge my eyes out of the photo with a needle. You see, she had a voodoo tendency.
If they had known his given name was Maximus Manlius O’Conner, he wouldn’t have made through the Police Academy.
I have to laugh at this one. Typo aside and already pointed out, nicely done.
Here's the first sentence of a work-in-progress:
"In the end, they each wanted what the other could not give."
Thanks in advance for your feedback ~
I like the short and sweet impact of this, but I think it's a bit wordy toward the end.
I do like the idea of beginning with the end - even just the word, not necessarily the end of the novel.
She was faintly aware of some imperceptible activities around her.
Perhaps you intend this seeming contradiction--namely that something imperceptible is being perceived. If not, then perhaps you could say "barely perceptible," or describe what she was faintly aware of.