"Wow, Meg, that's incredible, congrats!! (But, I'm not surprised - it's a great book!)"
Opening Lines
What is the first sentence of your work-in-progress? Post it here, and get feedback from your fellow She Writers about whether your opening line leaves them wanting more. And don't forget to take some time to read other writers' first words, too.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Andrea Heiberg on
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@Tanya, Thank you very much. I'll do that.
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Permalink Reply by Kristen Taber on -
I like the concept and I think---particularly with the last few words---it has a good punch, but the sentences read long to me. Perhaps try breaking up the sentences? How about something along these lines?
I'm still surprised when I think of the woman who tried to get a photo of me. Not because she put so much effort into the task. And not because she thought I looked gorgeous, but because she wanted to gouge my eyes out of the photo with a needle. You see, she had a voodoo tendency.
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Permalink Reply by Ellen Horan on -
If they had known his given name was Maximus Manlius O’Conner, he wouldn’t have made through the Police Academy.
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Permalink Reply by Kristen Taber on
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I have to laugh at this one. Typo aside and already pointed out, nicely done.
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Permalink Reply by Nancy Mueller on -
Here's the first sentence of a work-in-progress:
"In the end, they each wanted what the other could not give."
Thanks in advance for your feedback ~
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Permalink Reply by Charlotte Elise on -
I like the short and sweet impact of this, but I think it's a bit wordy toward the end.
I do like the idea of beginning with the end - even just the word, not necessarily the end of the novel.
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Permalink Reply by Akinyi Princess of K'Orinda-Yimb on -
She was faintly aware of some imperceptible activities around her.
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Permalink Reply by Ellen Estilai on -
Perhaps you intend this seeming contradiction--namely that something imperceptible is being perceived. If not, then perhaps you could say "barely perceptible," or describe what she was faintly aware of.
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