Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jan Marquart on May 10, 2011 at 3:24pm

I understand what needs to happen and the benefits for forgiving. I understand about letting go. The point of this dialogue for me was to find out how the process looks when each of you forgives. Everything you say is true; I'm however looking for something deeper. Just curious about your process -- the showing -- not the telling. But you all have good points and I agree with all of you. Jan

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Debra Shawcross Farmer on June 4, 2011 at 12:54am

Thankful I found this post Jan.  SW has opened up a whole new world for me.  The women here are sooooo very honest and open about life....it is truely a wonderful thing to be truthful and honest about this life...it is once, it is precious and it is ours.   If you can not write about this trauma....plant the most awesome plant...tree you can find and hopefully nurture it into something that you will see grow and display flowers.  This advice sounded so "not adequate enough' for me but I did it...A Frangipani ...it flowered Beutifully and now a Tree that has green leaves but every so often has a red love heart shaped leaf....it is truely such a wonderful way of showing Forgiveness for self and others.  It brings PEACE.  So true we have to be good to ourselves....for the other person does not take repsonsibility for their actions....it is us that brings that hurt with us.  It is a healing process.  God Bless all you wonderful Writers on SW.  I have found you all at the right time ...as they say...their is a Time for Everything....a Time to Forgive.  Just Do It, Do it for you...and me and every other woman who has been hurt. <3

[Check out Debra Shawcross Farmer Love Hearts Found on facebook search] 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Mrs. Barbara Jean Fields on June 4, 2011 at 5:41am

 

I think you have to learn to forgive. If not you'll likely to walk around carrying a grudge, let go of resentment, it beats you down. Releasing it, removes the anger, forgiveness is good for the soul.

 

 

Barbara J. Fields

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Jan Marquart on June 4, 2011 at 6:36am

Yes Barbara. I have no doubt about the values of forgiveness. My question is how do you do that? I'm asking people because I've found that the best theories are no good if not put into action. In my new book The Basket Weaver I give many ways that I personally have learned to forgive. This is a novel so I gave these methods to a character. I'm collecting stories for my own fascination with this process. Have a kind day, Jan

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Jan Marquart on June 4, 2011 at 6:55am

Yes Barbara, I'm so glad you said that. I wrote The Basket Weaver because I knew that if I didn't write out the healing I wanted and couldn't quite get to in a book, that I would not get over the consistent pain I had been in for over 30 years because of my sister's behavior and my desire for her love. I will say without question that, since this book came out, I have felt no pain. In fact, I had thought about her every day for the last 30 years and asked myself what I could do to change things for the better. So, I put that hold such a desire has on a soul into a character in The Basket Weaver. I'm telling you, for the first time in 32 years I feel free from the internal struggle one feels when someone they love to the core of their being doesn't love them back. I adored my little sister. I remember so well the day she was born and we went to get her from the hospital. I was 3 1/2. Anyway, writing it even though I tell it through a novel and not a self-help book has healed me. This isn't the first time writing has done this. At first I pushed the strong urge to write about the pain away. It was too much. Now I stare at the book and feel only my own accomplishment and healing. I feel great. I'm so glad I wrote it. www.createspace.com/3553668. I originally started this discussion because I wanted to know what others did to forgive. I wasn't questioning the value of forgiving. Jan

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Debra Shawcross Farmer on June 4, 2011 at 9:26am

LOVE THIS JAN, Very Courageous ...love your Honesty.  This is a great discussion topic.  I found aswell as planting something...I also wrote a letter or two to the people I felt I needed to tell how much they had hurt me.  It helped to give some kind of peace...I also wrote my memoir.  Listening to Myley Cyris...'The Climb'...and Michael Jackson... 'Man in The Mirror'...along with 1000 other types of songs & music....watched wonderful movies....Doccos....helped to think about others not what I was 'trapped' into thinking....due to the hurt.  I chose NOT to have that glass of wine....Alcohol is NOT good when dealing with pain.  It is ongoing and I still find different types of ways to Forgive.  I have found my Faith again....and I find that prayer and Sunday hymns singing in Church help too.  <3

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Jan Marquart on June 4, 2011 at 9:45am

Forgive them for they know not what they do, right? Except with my sister-- she does know what she does because I've told her for decades and she gets off on the power -- I've gone in, faced my pain and the reason for all my stubborn efforts in trying to get her to love me and written until I couldn't write anymore. I've come out a healed woman. Thank you God!!!

• ▶ Reply

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page