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Permalink Reply by Anna Marie Fosser on November 11, 2009 at 11:52am

Can I vote for most of the above? And in all honesty, it would probably be all of the above if I were to the point of finding an agent.

I'm at the beginning of what I would like to be a writing career. And I suppose fear of failure, or a fear of lack of talent is a major hangup at the moment. That and, well, life...between three small children at home and a husband that doesn't understand why I'd want to write in the first place it's difficult finding the time, motivation and drive to get going and still hold the house together. Though I know it would provide bountiful material to draw upon if I did really get rolling.

I do thing there are a lot of roadblocks society places for women these days, as always. Between caring for the house and the children and possibly having another job or two outside the home, there isn't always much left over for pursuing our own dreams. When a quiet moment does occur we are pulled in a million directions of the things that should be done, and possibly putting our feet up for 5 minutes. How can I find time to write, when I have to lock myself in the bathroom for a couple minutes just to do those personal things by myself!

Good luck!

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Permalink Reply by Marcy Gray Rubin on November 11, 2009 at 4:52pm

HI Anna, believe me even Jane Austen was plagued with doubts about her writing. Was Mr Darcy heroic enough or was he too antagonistic? Are there too many characters to keep track of? Every writer -- no matter how accomplished or novice has these thoughts and fears You can't be a writer and not have them.

And what makes you think you don't have talent? Do you think you have talent? Then don't worry about everyone else. If you want to write then write. Start small. It seems as though you already have your subject matter so give it a try. It's worth missing a load of laundry to give yourself the permission to write for a time each day or if not a few times each week. It's called self care. Why not lock yourself in the bathroom with a laptop or a pad of paper and see what happens. You may be surprised. And don't sweat the results enjoy the process because that's where the magic happens. You, your thoughts and however you write.

I really appreciate you replying to my post. Please keep thinking and posting thoughts...Now start writing....

Marcy

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Permalink Reply by Marcy Gray Rubin on November 11, 2009 at 5:07pm

HI Tansy,

Thanks for responding to my post. I don't think talent and sticking with it are irrelevant. Writing what you feel passionate about is important -- not prideful. Jumping on the lit bandwagon may work for some, but if it's not what your write or want to write it won't be you writing it will be the marketplace. And those trends come and go. Believe me if I could bear to write a vampire action film with lots of avatars and car crashes I would but I can't. Basically anyone who is a writer knows that its a long haul and has to adjust to that.

Do you still love to write? Then acknowledging alll the other things is just part of the process. Knowing you are afraid and feel discouraged and still want to write.....That takes guts.


Marcy .

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Permalink Reply by Millicent O'Reilly on November 14, 2009 at 6:32pm

Hi Marcy,

This is such a generous thread; thanks for starting it. My goblins are procrastination (the internet does not help---so easy to channel your energy anywhere that feels less risky) and fear of failure. They seem related. Fear of failure might be Procrastination's deadbeat dad. That, and a history of losing faith in long-term projects. If you could know that what you were writing was good or important ... well, that'd be a good trick.

How about you?

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Permalink Reply by Marcy Gray Rubin on November 16, 2009 at 9:19am

Thanks Millicent, as writers I think it's important to discuss. I agree procrastination is a tough one as is fear of failure and I've certainly felt my share of both and experienced it too. But maybe in order to do what we love to do (most days) we need to focus more on the process and less on end result. What does it mean to know that something is important and good. Is it judged by what others think of your work? And if that's the case why give them the power to judge you? What makes them the expert of what you have been spending hours, days and weeks doing? How can they judge when they don't know what it took to get those thoughts down? I think we writers as a whole give the most weight to everyone else and least to ourselves.


Millicent O'Reilly said:

Hi Marcy,

This is such a generous thread; thanks for starting it. My goblins are procrastination (the internet does not help---so easy to channel your energy anywhere that feels less risky) and fear of failure. They seem related. Fear of failure might be Procrastination's deadbeat dad. That, and a history of losing faith in long-term projects. If you could know that what you were writing was good or important ... well, that'd be a good trick.

How about you?

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Permalink Reply by Marcy Gray Rubin on November 16, 2009 at 9:23am

Hi Tansy I'm curious to know what happened when you stopped writing the stories? What made you go back to writing them?

Marcy

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Permalink Reply by Menique Aviles on November 22, 2009 at 12:00am

I'm a poet which makes things kind of difficult for me as poetry isnt the most mainstream thing and probably never has been. I took a leap and started a blog but my main roadblocks are all of the above as well. I worry if I write badly, if poetry even matters to anyone anymore at all. I look at my fairly low readership and feel so discouraged I don't even want to write anymore. But I can't seem to stop myself so I write and post anyway because if I didn't my head would probably explode.

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Permalink Reply by Marcy Gray Rubin on November 23, 2009 at 9:03am

Hi Menique what does it mean to "write badly" versus "write well" is about the response you get from the readers or the response you have to your own writing? Also I'm assuming if you "can't stop yourself" that you feel compelled to write because you are a writer and that's what writers do.....they write.

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Permalink Reply by Menique Aviles on November 23, 2009 at 11:51am

I think "writing badly" to me is not getting my point across and failing to evoke any emotional response in the reader. Writing badly is when my poetry starts looking and sounding like prose with line breaks. I suppose one of the biggest problems for me is the lack of feedback. And yes, even though it would be a dream come true to be able to make a living as a poet, I would still write even if no one ever read it because I love it that much. It can be very frustrating though to keep putting your stuff out there in the world and never really getting much of a response.

Marcy Gray Rubin said:

Hi Menique what does it mean to "write badly" versus "write well" is about the response you get from the readers or the response you have to your own writing? Also I'm assuming if you "can't stop yourself" that you feel compelled to write because you are a writer and that's what writers do.....they write.

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