Writing through pain

I mean physical pain. I fell and broke on ankle in 3 places on Dec 25, 2009. I had surgery on the next Tuesday, resulting in the installation of screws and a pin. It also resulted in a thing called an external fixator. Look it up, but only if you aren't squeamish. It's gruesome, but I am appreciative of it. I'm appreciative of all the talent and skill that came to bear on my poor little 58 year old ankle. And I'm appreciative of pain medication. Boy, am I.

I am reminded that my daily prayer should be one of thanksgiving, and that in and of itself is a blessing.

Now, I had been enjoying the season and family, friends, food, etc, thoroughly, and I was feeling eager to get back to my computer. I'm near the end of a second draft of a novel I'm excited about and I was full of ideas, making good connections during the days away from the computer.

Come Monday morning, I'll get my caregiver to plop my laptop on my lap and I'll see how well I can write through this.

I'd love to hear from others who've been here.

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Permalink Reply by Heidi R. Moore on March 16, 2010 at 4:17pm

Nora--I am so inspired to hear that you are writing through your pain. I don't have the same injury, but I can relate to the pain.

An aneurysm ruptured in the femoral artery of my left leg about a year and a half ago, causing compartment syndrome. Just as in your case it required a long and painful recovery.

At the time that it happened, I had been revising a book. But after this surprise horrorshow, it has been as though my brain was suddenly empty. I blamed it on surgeries. Most recently I've blamed it on chronic pain and the numbing effect of narcotics.

At this point, I've had some time to accustom myself to that-/and even to the fact that I might not get better. I just wish I could write, anything, a poem, story, screenplay, essay.

What do you write? And, please, what is your secret?

Best,
Heidi

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Permalink Reply by Nora Gaskin Esthimer on March 16, 2010 at 5:32pm

Heidi, my goodness...a broken ankle pales in comparison. I'm so sorry. I had never heard of compartment syndrome, but googled it and it does sound like a wretched thing to have to live with for any period of time. Are you up and around at all?

Do you mind if I ask, have you explored alternative treatments? Accupuncture maybe? I have a friend who is a biofeedback specialist who treats chronic pain and that can be helpful. I know I won't think of anything that you haven't tried or considered.

Have you blogged about this experience? It certainly could evolve into a book. You'll have a lot to teach us all.

As for me, I spent 5 weeks in an external fixator (google that if you don't know what it is, but it is gruesome) and have been in an air cast for almost 6 weeks now. As of 10 days ago, I can walk (or hobble may be more accurate) on the air cast, with a walker. I should be able to trade the walker for a cane soon, and then begin to wean myself off of the cast. I have a good physical therapist and a good surgeon. But as I say, it's small potatoes compared to you.

I'm a fiction writer, unpublished though not for lack of trying. I'm working on my third novel. It's a murder mystery.

What is the book you were working on when the horrorshow started? Have you been able to pick it up at all? Please tell me more. Best, Nora

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Permalink Reply by Diana Lee on March 16, 2010 at 8:50pm

I live with chronic pain, so I write through my pain almost every single day. It can be hard to feel motivated or focused when you're hurting or feeling loopy from pain meds. I have a pretty good routine now of knowing what times of day seem to be best for me and a system of writing more on better days and letting myself rest on worse days. I think it's all about trial and error and finding out what works best for you.

I hope you're doing better after your surgery!

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Permalink Reply by Virginia West on April 10, 2010 at 4:15pm

Get a craniosacral appointment asap (you can locate a therapist on www.upledger.com). It helped me survive multiple types of pain, from back and head issues that prescription ibuprofen didn't phase, and even emotional trauma from events I'll share someday.
One word at a time some days, paragraphs others, and silence on yet others. It does get better.

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Permalink Reply by Mylene Dressler on April 10, 2010 at 4:25pm

Nora, I haven't, but I have friend writing through pain right now, and wanted to share her blog post with you. You can find it here

Wishing you both a speedy recovery!

Mylène

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Permalink Reply by Nora Gaskin Esthimer on April 12, 2010 at 10:54am

I've made it through the worst of my ankle thing. I broke it on Christmas night and on April Fool's Day the surgeon dismissed me. I've gone from heavy duty pain killers and metal rods sticking out of my flesh, being bedridden for 9 weeks, to wearing my hiking boots and walking with a cane. Another 2 or 3 weeks of PT and I should back in the gym.

I hope that the topic of writing through pain will continue to draw thoughts and comments, especially from those of you who have chronic conditions. The rest of us need to hear you and learn from you and continue to offer encouragement and appreciation.

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Permalink Reply by Nora Gaskin Esthimer on November 17, 2011 at 12:35pm

I began this discussion while bedbound. On Christmas night, I'll celebrate the 2nd anniversary of breaking my ankle in three places and I can report that it is now great. Physical therapy and continued exercise to strengthen it have brought me to a good place. I think back from time-to-time, to collect my thoughts about what I learned.

It gave real meaning to all the idea that health is (almost) everything, and to what it means to live one day at a time. It certainly gave me greater understanding of what those of you who deal with chronic conditions go through. Not a perfect understanding by any means, but I do hope that my experience made me a little humbler, a little more patient, a little more empathetic.

I know without a doubt that I found deeper levels to my spiritual self. It can only have made me a better writer.

To those of you now in pain, may I extend prayer for safety, for peace, for happiness, and for ease of well-being. How can I help?

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Permalink Reply by Anna Wadlow on November 19, 2011 at 8:07pm

I also am trying to write through pain...I have had fluid buidup in my right ear for three months, dizziness, pain, headaches,sleeping sitting up. We finally got rid of the fluid, only for the doctor to discover that my eardrum is pushed over my ear bones because of something 'growing' in there. I am going on Monday for an MRI to find out if it is a brain tumor...I will not stop writing in the meantime.

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Permalink Reply by Nora Gaskin Esthimer on November 21, 2011 at 7:48pm

Anna, I'll be holding a good thought for you, in the tradition of the Buddhist Loving-Kindness Meditation: may you be safe, may you know peace, may you be happy, may you have ease of well-being. Especially ease of well-being. Please come back here and let us know how you are.

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Permalink Reply by Anna Wadlow on November 22, 2011 at 7:35am

MRI was done yesterday...now we wait for the results.

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Permalink Reply by P.Allen Jones on November 21, 2011 at 8:35pm

Hi Nora, I have Sickle Cell Diseaseand pain has been my constant companion for 51 years (my whole life). I blog about living with this disease and just published a memoir "I Only Cry at Night". There's a lot to say about writing & living in pain. I know that for sure.

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Permalink Reply by Anna Wadlow on November 21, 2011 at 8:44pm

P. Allen I hope to read your book...I hope your pain eases and I admire how you kept on writing. I also know of the night crying as I have rheumatoid arthritis which keeps me awake many nights, unable to get the pain med bottle open or even to get myself up to the bathroom...I think it's the worst feeling to have to wake someone who is sleeping peacefully just to help me. Best of luck to you.