Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Julie Mihaly on December 31, 2009 at 11:49am

Dear Virginia,
Yea. Where is that freaking cushy retirement package anyway? My retirement plan, which consists of winning Lotto, has yet to fall into place, I've managed to turn up 3 paying jobs since November 2008, and I may have to move into a refrigerator box on the West Side Highway if I don't manage to generate some dough soon. I am, however, heartened by the fact that redecorating my potential cardboard domicile, (it's the Martha Stewart in me), will only require a few extra-wide Magic Markers. All of which is to say that you're not alone. Might you be up for writing something for the "Learn" or "Work" sections of BoomUnderground.com as a way to beat these demons to the ground? Sadly, your efforts will only feed your creativity vs the slathering dogs, but I'm game to have you contribute if you are. Let me know what you think, and hang in there. - Julie

Permalink Reply by Virginia Hinchey on December 31, 2009 at 12:39pm

I am up to contributing to any venting venue. I sure hope you don’t have to move into some dismal shack. I do have a house (mortgaged to the hilt) and a husband (71 and unemployed) and unemployment for both of us for the time being, but I’m sick of working in human services and being lackey slave for unpleasant bosses which has basically been my work history. I want some control over my life which I know I am not entitled to have through any constitutional guarantee. But still and yet, one can only hope.

Permalink Reply by Virginia Hinchey on January 1, 2010 at 5:55am

Amen

Permalink Reply by Louella Bryant on October 21, 2010 at 3:46pm

A few days ago I read an article in the New Yorker about artist John Baldessari, a conceptual artist who has risen to high acclaim in the art world in the last few years. In 1970 he burned all his paintings in a sort of performance art ceremony, having them cremated and then making cookies out of the ashes. I realized that I own two paintings by an artist named Baldessari and convinced myself that mine were among those who escaped the crematory. One of Baldessari's early works recently sold at Christie's for $4.4 million, according to the NYer article, so I figured I was worth at least $8 mill. I wrote to Christie's and then walked around for two days feeling like a millionairess and making plans for all the philanthropic organizations to which I'd contribute (especially in support of women writers). Turns out my paintings are apparently done by some unknown and uncelebrated artist and are pretty much worthless. But OH the feeling of unfathomable wealth. I'd like to hold onto that feeling as I buy a used sweater at the consignment shop and rinse out one more plastic bag for reuse. I guess ultimately it's not about money but about how we feel about ourselves. As creative people, we ought to be able to celebrate ourselves without counting our nickels. I celebrate each of you..right now..for putting words on these pages.

Permalink Reply by Joyce Evans-Campbell on February 8, 2011 at 9:58am

That could be a tough question because I'm conscious about counting those calendar days because I've less time in front of me than behind me. I'm going to finish my memoirs, a collection of poetry, which I work on every day as long as I'm healthy enough to write. I wish I had a lofty retirement package but I retired early...I'd buy an RV and travel.

Permalink Reply by Azalie Hightower on March 20, 2011 at 9:40pm

After teaching for 35 years, I thought I could find a new peaceful life in retirement where I would write or rewrite all of the pieces I had started over the years, but... and there is always a but. I moved South so I would not have to work and could live comfortably out of my retirement.This worked for a few years, but sometimes I too need a lifeline, not just financially, but  also emotionally.  This is from my blog Blue Notes. It was written several years ago. This was when I thought I knew what I was going to be doing for the rest of life. However, now I have decided that I don't know and maybe I should get back in the race.

"Yesterday was my birthday. Thank you, I am still here. Grateful for a lot of reasons. Knowing that it is His Mercy and Grace that has kept me, I am most grateful.
Today my daughter and I were talking about "stuff" and we started talking about her father and his new wife. It is a May-December marriage and we were wondering how she liked going away with his parents for the week-end. What does a 40 year old have in common with a group where the youngest is 60 and the oldest is 86???

 Later I started musing...about how I now feel at 60 looking at men who are 60ish+ and what I see are "old" men...and I suddenly remember my little friend who was 80ish, but such fun. She would often tell me that she and her husband were now members of the "pat and chat" club. I didn't quite comprehend that until now. It seems that the men that I meet now are very nice but...they seem to have resigned themselves to the "patting and chatting" crew.

I know there's a big gap between May and December but what happens when it's April and June? Hmmmm?? I don't want a young one, no conversation, no similar interests, and an older one ...ditto.

I guess it all depends on how you define it. Is it snuggling, holding hands, knee tag, kissing, etc??

Well, girls we've got our memories
of  wilder times when they could play
So slow your road
Be glad they're willing to try
Despite diabetes,poor vision, prostate, bad hearts and cholestrol
Hooray for determination
So smile ladies and remember past deliberations

Permalink Reply by Andrea Everett Schaerf on March 25, 2011 at 10:44am

I hope you habe a door for your box with a good solid lock. and windows with plexiglas. You could thicken the walls with paper mache. I thought of going into the medical billing and coding to get a job. My house is paid for but the taxes are killing me. And the medical bills. And the loss of health. My glaucoma makes it hard to see what I write attimes. I think uits the drops. I see a future but not the goal ditected driven one I had when I could walk. So it has been a process of letting go and redefining myself. Who knew getting older was like people said it could be.?> I am only 60 but find it harder to see what I can dream of for the future.

Permalink Reply by Emiliana Martín on May 6, 2011 at 3:47pm

Intimacy w/o sex http://bit.ly/mcvMEi  http://on.fb.me/ghalYK

Permalink Reply by Virginia Hinchey on May 7, 2011 at 7:28am

I can't believe this thread started two years ago. I read my thoughts at that time, and time has made a fool out of me. Since then, I spent a year at a community college and made the Deans List. That was good. Then I was diagnosed with a malignant carcinoma of the right parotid gland. Life on hold. Had surgery and 36 radiation treatments. Prognosis is good. That's good. However, I had to rearrange my hairstyle to cover the dent in the side of my face. During that time I took a watercolor class and a drawing class. I was called an artist and asked what I was going to do about it. It was a good question. I realize artists and writers are absorbed by their titles. I am not, and at 62 I doubt I will be. Then, I got a job through Senior Employment. I make $8/hr and work 4 hours a day at the Salvation Army Corps in Athol. I love it. I can use a little bit of all my skills and wow everyone and still have half a day to be retired. Just as I felt settled, I broke my arm which was exceedingly painful. I recovered well. That was good. Then I had an outbreak of shingles across the right side of my face which was beyond painful, I wanted to die.  MDs were treating it as a sinus infection for two weeks. Finally, my surgeon in a House moment figured it out about 2 weeks later. That was good. Rather than steering, I have been steered. I have ceased to plan and just hope and pray. My friend is dying of cancer. She is a gardener and younger than I am. She doesn't want to die. When I see her, I just cry.Humbled after 2 years of not being in control.

Permalink Reply by JoAnn Murphey on May 7, 2011 at 7:55am

Virginia,

I understand the turmoil and depressive state you are in. Cancer is nobody's friend. Having survived three bouts and dealing with a husband who is terminal with a rare form of cancer. Breaking bones is easier when young and so is surgery. I spent four months healing from a hysterectomy with massive complication like my heart stopping a couple of times. Two years healing after a ruptured achille's tendon. I'm just a very few years younger than you.

 

The first thing you have to realize is that you are in control of NOTHING! Life is a roller coaster with it's ups and downs...even at our age. With that thought in mind, you wake every morning, do what needs to be done (write, paint, housework), you smile at little achievements and hoop and holler at the big ones, and you live each day to the fullest with no regrets. Each day you wake up is a blessing no matter what happens.  Tomorrow there will be a new set of problems, issues, joys, and revelations.

 

My personal finances are comfortable but not cushy...my bills get paid even if it means borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. I have never been independently wealthy and honestly don't want to be. I deal with fibromyalgia every single day, but each day no matter how painful, I get up say my prayers and do what needs to be done. Not to mention all the other stuff that comes to women our age. I pour all the strife into writing and it helps. At the end of the day I do not forget to thank God for all my blessings and maintain my focus on blessings.

 

Permalink Reply by Virginia Hinchey on May 7, 2011 at 2:14pm

We agree. We are not in control, God is. What is gain to me is loss to God. He will get all because he loves me and wants to save me. I pray, Take whatever I cannot give, I will take the cup of salvation and call upon the Lord. Don't worry. I may be kvetching but I know that my Redeemer liveth and I shall see him in the latter day.  Just tracking my progress. I completely believe in your approach, but I view the process as a the last days in the wilderness. Lotsa of sand and desolation. But the Jordan River is just ahead.

Permalink Reply by JoAnn Murphey on May 13, 2011 at 7:06pm

Amen sister!

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