is this even possible? i find it very therapeutic to write about my mom but live in constant fear she will find out and trust me she won't find the humour in it
You know, it's really reassuring to read that others struggle with the nakedness of memoir - I have distinctly warned my mother against reading mine, and haven't even DARED tell my father, about whom I've written so much! Good luck with your mother's visit!
I don't know if this is possible. I'd like to think it is, but I haven't proven it to be so thus far in my life. So far, I've mostly written in places where she won't find me, but I am also naturally reluctant to have others read my work (go figure! I'm supposed to earn money from this stuff!). I'll let you know if I ever come up with a satisfactory answer.
One of the characters in my book is my mother and she didn't recognize herself, despite the fact that the character was the mother of the heroine. I went so far as to pluck one of her childhood stories and put it in and she still didnt' see herself. This is an advantage of fiction, even if the character is 98% true to form, the 2% will completely throw the victim off the trail. It also helped that the story was fun and there would be no lasting damage if she figured out it was her. If I were writing truth, It would likely be a different experience entirely.
Oh I write about my mother in my blog pretty often. I find it cathartic after her visits to my home. It does help that she's 81 and not internet savvy at all...
Here's an example of a recent visit this summer:
I have four children and I must admit I am terrified of what they might writer about me in the future!