Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Lori Duffy Foster on February 6, 2010 at 7:18pm

Anna Marie, I do the same thing! I have snippets written on everything!
I did well with my writing when my daughter started four days a week of preschool and my son was in kindergarten. I cleaned and ran errands while they were gone and wrote at night. Then the twins came along. I have had a very hard time getting into a rhythm with them. It wasn't too bad at first when they were napping frequently, but they gave up naps and cribs around their second birthday and they rarely sleep more than 10 hours a night. When they go to bed, I'm usually helping the older kids with homework and spending a little quality time with them. After that, it's dishes and lunches for the next day. Even with a husband who is a tremendous help, I'm wiped out by 11 p.m. Then the twins are up again at 6 a.m.

I do send the twins to a sitter three mornings a week for three hours, but I'm lucky if I get one of those days to write. Still, I'm not all that worried about it. I know things will get easier each year and that a year is really a very small increment of time. So, I get frustrated sometimes, but I try to keep it in perspective.

Permalink Reply by Meg Waite Clayton on February 7, 2010 at 10:48am

>I have snippets written on everything!

My best friend gave me a little silver bowl that I keep on my desk. I throw my snippets in there so I can find them.

Permalink Reply by Wendy Kelly on February 7, 2010 at 12:08pm

Thank you! I wanted to ask about losing scraps of paper...but wasn't sure if I were the only one prone to that.

What a great idea.

I've got so many notebooks around the house it isn't even funny...but somehow still can't always find one, so I have a zillion notes on envelopes, regular lined paper, etc...

I've already mentioned to the boys that if they ever read anything odd on a scrap of paper not to worry...it's just Mom's writing...

I am going to scrounge up a little bowl (or two)

Permalink Reply by Meg Waite Clayton on February 18, 2010 at 9:14am

>a little bowl (or two)

Sometimes I think I need a barrel.

:-)

Permalink Reply by Jackie Myronuk on February 21, 2010 at 11:35am

me too! Do you ever find some of these snippets and wonder "what the heck?" Sometimes I wonder if I actually wrote it! I really need to get more organized.

Permalink Reply by Rebecca Rasmussen on February 18, 2010 at 10:04am

I sneak in an hour here and there between teaching and taking care of my daughter. I remember the days, pre-baby and pre-husband when I used to spend entire days writing in graduate school, and I remember not being able to make much forward progress. There might be something to be said for having so little time -- it's either write or don't -- and I choose to write. I look a little worse for the wear, of course. And I definitely revert to sweatpants whenever I walk in the door, which my husband, I'm sure, had an opinion about though he is gracious to keep it to himself. But, overall, I am producing a lot in my uber focused writing sessions and making good progress on my second novel.

So unattractive or not, I feel pretty good about myself. I wish I had more time to work out though. And I wish I drank less cofee, too! :)

Permalink Reply by Meg Waite Clayton on February 21, 2010 at 6:33pm

>I'm always exhausted by the time my daughter gets into bed.

I know this feeling!

Permalink Reply by Meg Waite Clayton on February 21, 2010 at 6:34pm

I have a mom-writer friend who does a lot of planning, and then gets her mom to watch her kids and goes away and writes like a maniac for a week. Cheap, ratty hotel rooms. No distractions. I'm not recommending, necessarily, but it does work for some!

Permalink Reply by Tania Pryputniewicz on February 21, 2010 at 10:17pm

Great topic--

So glad to hear others haven't mastered the 4 a.m. gig...wish I could. I'm a night owl, but I'm leery about the hit my sanity takes when I don't give myself at least midnight til 7 to sleep...and often when I get on a roll, I look up, and it's 2 a.m.

Since pretty near the birth of my first child (I have three: 9, 7, 3) my father has given me one day a week to write (he looks after the kids, does drop off and pick up, and since he married his wife 4 years ago, she too has helped out). At first it didn't seem like much--6-8 hours, and in the beginning I drank tea at a nearby coffee shop and tried to keep my milk from coming in when I thought about the baby. And at first I didn't think I could get anywhere. But it has been an amazing gift to have that one spot a week to count on. Slow and steady, raw writing time plus sending out...

As the kids have gotten older, I've gradually added in everywhere I can. I keep the laptop in the kitchen and do more of the editing/correspondence level of "writing time", looking at She Writes, trying to look at blogs etc while I make dinner and the lunches for the next day, review poems in my poetry editor role. When the kids were really little I kept 3x2 mini notebooks in my backpocket to keep notes on anything that remotely had to do with my writing.

On nights when bedtime for the kids goes smoothly, I make a cup of tea downstairs at the kitchen table and download in the journal. What amazes me now is I'm discovering...no matter where it is written down and/or in what order, I find near finished work. The steady practice, even in snippets, pays off and pretty much tiles in the mosaic, when I trust it and stop worrying if I'm doing enough. I have a friend who loves to remind me to "be where you are, T" in my life, which is, happily surrounded by little people, with giant needs, so I try not to push myself too hard. And yet too I'm most happy when I care about myself enough to take a few moments to ground by writing. I th ink my whole family benefits when I pay attention to my heart needs as well as theirs. So much to balance, but so worth the effort. Thanks for the conversation.

Also, can't say enough about having other supportive writers to speak with. I meet one night a week with a writer/mom friend to exchange work. She Writes has eclipsed my Facebook usage to a large degree--(minimal as my presence is on either site) and She Writes has helped me feel connected. I'm in weekly email contact with a group of writers and artists committed to doing something daily towards their goals; that accountability helps me stay focused.

Permalink Reply by Tracy Alverson Euler on March 5, 2010 at 8:54am

I hired a babysitter 3x a week for 4 hrs each time.

That's my hardcore focused writing time. I hole myself up in my office with some coffee, and only come out if A: my toddler is screaming bloody murder [rarely happens thank god she loves this sitter] or B: if I'm hungry. The rest of my writing time is normally an hour or so after bed time and if my MIL takes the kid for a weekend.

I so can't get up early to write, and being pregnant = me pooped at night so I just take FULL advantage of my hours per week

Permalink Reply by Hollye Dexter on March 5, 2010 at 9:06am

My four year old goes to preschool for until noon each day. That is my absolute me time- writing only. I've told all my friends not to call me before noon. I let the dishes pile up. I don't even eat. (Sometimes my dear husband brings me food)
I also attend a writing group twice a month, which spurs me to get something brilliant written every two weeks, as I will have to read it in front of everyone and then gather constructive criticism.

For me it's helpful to have that pressure of producing for the writing group.
In the mornings, if I'm stuck on writing my book, I'll blog. If that doesn't work, I'll do a writing exercise, like ten minute prompts. Or I'll just journal to loosen up.

Some days I get nothing. Some days I could write for ten hours.

Permalink Reply by Anna Marie Fosser on March 5, 2010 at 9:58am

I've decided I need a reward system. My 3-year old is now potty training and gets M&Ms when he uses the toilet (I know, I know...but so far nothing else has given him the incentive to actually make it to the bathroom, rather than stand there in his soiled pants.)

His rewards have given me the crazy idea that maybe it'd work with me, and help get the house done faster. So I'm giving it a try...for every 15 minutes of serious house cleaning, I get 5 minutes of writing. Instead of sitting there dreading all the household chores that need to be done I have blocks of time to do chores and snippets of time for writing. And I'm allowing myself comp time. If I'm on a roll with the household chores, I'll keep going, but I still allow myself the 5 minutes for each 15 minute block. Taken in smaller chunks it gives me permission to actually write without the guilt of knowing all the things around the house that need to be done, which some days renders me immobileized to the point of accomplishing nothing.

For the time being it helps accomplish the chores, but allows me guilt free moments to write.

And for the kids, I've also gotten back into cracking out the craft supplies. We can all sit around the diningroom table, with the kids doing crafts or just coloring, while I'm stationed with the laptop. I can supervise glue use and get some productivity for me too.

I'm also hoping to get back to the gym in the next couple weeks. The baby's finally had her H1N1 vaccine so she can go into childwatch there. While I was pregnant and couldn't exercise because of some issues, I realized I could still take the kids to Childwatch for up to 2 hours per day while I sat in the lounge (which is almost always completely empty) and work on writing. It was fantastic...no household duties, kids being attended to, no phones to answer, no internet to surf...just designated writing or reading time.

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