Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jacquelyn Mitchard on February 10, 2010 at 4:13pm

LET IT ALL PILE UP! Do two things -- organize the kids' scrapbooks and write. You'll be happier. They'll be richer. Let the house crawl away if need be.
I'm the sole support of a family of eleven. If I had this chance and could do it ... I would funky walk over the barbie!

Permalink Reply by Karen Cantwell on February 10, 2010 at 4:14pm

Just keep writing. Write short stories and get them out there via whatever means you can. Write a novel and enter it in a contest while you query agents. Write, write, write. I haven't been paid for anything yet, but I keep writing anyway. If what you want to do is entertain others with your work, don't worry about having "permission" to do so. Just do it. :-) And never doubt yourself, despite every urge to do so.

Permalink Reply by Jacquelyn Mitchard on February 10, 2010 at 4:15pm

TRY to think of it this way: Where is the laundry going? Nowhere? Where is the dust going? Nowhere?
Where is your time to write and be with them (or write about them and be with yourself) going? Up in smoke.
Dare to let the garden go to weeds and the stuff in the refrigerator look like the origin of species. You have the chance. SEIZE it.

Permalink Reply by Jackie Myronuk on February 16, 2010 at 10:49am

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my pathetic call for reassurance! You are exactly right. I know that what you say is true and I think I knew that it is OK to pursue this dream/need to write. It's always so much easier to know that there are others out there that have faced similar issues but have managed to overcome them.

You are an inspiration...thanks again
Jackie

Permalink Reply by Stephanie Bird on February 10, 2010 at 4:35pm

I have struggled with this issue from time to time but I now stand firm that what I'm doing is most definitely WORK and the housework sometimes has to wait (well, in my case most of the time it has to wait, LOL). Even my surfing on the internet is at times work because I'm researching for by books or articles.

Permalink Reply by Tara McCay on February 10, 2010 at 10:12pm

I am a new writer, but as a SAHM, I struggle with the same problem. Add that I don't particularly like housework....

So, my solution has been through using the tools and techniques of flylady, Marla Ciley, from her entirely free website and bigtent group, flylady.net.

One of the best ones that is working for me lately is to spend 15 minutes doing something fun (like reading/writing) and then 5 minutes cleaning up. I tried 15/15, but it was too much clean up time for me. Yes, I use a timer, nothing else keeps me honest. And when I do this, the house is much cleaner than when I don't.

I never thought 5 minutes was enough time to get anything done, but I was so wrong. I can get a room picked up in 5 minutes, and I have twin 3 year old tornadoes, and way too many toys.

Permalink Reply by Tania Pryputniewicz on February 11, 2010 at 12:37am

Jackie--here's a link to an interview with a wonderful writer named Joyce Renwick, a writer I became friends with when I lived in Iowa City. She speaks about this issue (how to stay on track as a writer given motherhood and circumference of the house with all its pulls). We lost her to a car accident quite a number of years ago--my friend and I were lucky enough to have interviewed her for two hours nearly six months before we lost her. One of her favorite stories was about a woman who kept her house clean for 25 years or so, immaculate. One day she didn't, and she realized, look at what I have spent my life doing. I hope you go for the writing, call it work, pencil in the "work" hours daily on a calendar, tell the kids, "I"m working" and just go for it, even if you stare at the lawn growing while sitting at the desk with pencil in hand. You deserve to go for it...hope you do. Here's the link to my friend's interview: http://www.gargoylemagazine.com/books/paycock/renwickinterview.htm. She also has a short story collection that was published posthumously (some of the stories based on her experiences as a nurse) titled, "In Praise of What Persists."

Good luck.

Permalink Reply by Jackie Myronuk on February 16, 2010 at 10:43am

thanks for the link Tania...it really put it in perspective for me.

cheers
jackie

Permalink Reply by Tania Pryputniewicz on February 11, 2010 at 1:11am

Jackie--I had to look up Joyce's actual quote--it goes like this: "What is missing from my life?" I thought. I was working in a nursing home, and I thought, "What have these women done?" I overheard a woman say, "I cleaned my house for 50 years and I was gone a week and it was dirty, what good was my life?" And I'm going, "Whoa, yes!" So I started writing poetry again, I guess when I was about 27.

still hope you'll check out the rest of the interview for fun--she was a wonderful writer and friend.

Permalink Reply by Jackie Myronuk on February 16, 2010 at 10:44am

I love this quote..I printed it out and posted it to my bulletin board above my laptop. It really made me shake my head and laugh.
Thanks again
J

Permalink Reply by Mary Akers on February 11, 2010 at 6:00am

When this happens to me I take my laptop or even a notebook and go outside the house to write--libraries are best for me, but some people like the noise and bustle of a coffee shop. Don't take anything else with you, so you have nothing to do but write. You'd be surprised how productive even an hour outside the house can be.

Permalink Reply by Kathy Leonard Czepiel on February 12, 2010 at 6:03am

I'll hazard a guess that it really isn't as much guilt about the housework that's the problem as it is self-doubt--because I know that feeling well. I don't know whether you're already published, but if not, try setting yourself a goal of completing a couple of small projects and submit them to small/local markets. Spend time researching and creating a good list of places to submit--that's a big part of writing work. If you experience some success getting your work in print (or online), you'll be more likely to feel justified in calling yourself a writer. Most/all of us would argue you don't have to be published to be a writer (obviously!), but it sure does help with the self-doubt part.

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