Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jackie Myronuk on February 16, 2010 at 10:45am

that's EXACTLY what it is. How can I possibly expect anyone else to take me seriously if I don't even afford myself that one concession. I will bite the bullet and brave the onslaught of rejection letters knowing that eventually, I will write something that someone will want to publish (keeping my fingers crossed)

thanks
J

Permalink Reply by Brooke Linville on February 12, 2010 at 9:25am

I leave the picking up for after my son's bedtime. I throw on a DVRed show and pick up as quickly as I can (because I hate it). My house is by no means spotless, but at least I can contain the mess. I've found that I have a hard time clearing my mind of the clutter to write if my house is cluttered, and if I do a little everyday it keeps the house in manageable condition.

I also know what you are saying about doubting yourself. The first time I made a go as a writer, I absolutely doubted myself and hardly sent anything out. But I am bolder now, and I believe that only through taking risks am I going to get where I want to go. I remember reading somewhere about someone who was proud of their rejection letters because it meant that they had submitted. For a time I had a goal of a certain number of rejection letters because if I keep putting myself out there one day it won't be a rejection. Now I have a goal of acceptance. I believe what I am doing is worthwhile. I believe in my abilities. And in that, I believe I can succeed as a writer.

Permalink Reply by Jackie Myronuk on February 16, 2010 at 10:46am

Thanks Brooke
If I just let go of that fear of rejection (easier said than done), maybe I can let go and send out my work and take a chance.
it's so nice and reassuring to know that so many other moms/women/writers struggle with similar issues

cheers
J

Permalink Reply by GeorgiaWoodward on February 18, 2010 at 2:05pm

Yes, I have been at the Mothering job for 33 yrs, and stopped working 4+ yrs ago. The guilt of not bringing in income for the first time in my life drove me crazy. I have wasted valuable time on the whole guilt trip, and if I could wave a wand for every other author-Mom in my shoes: Give yourself a Break! And I will give myself one too.
I have watched my youngest be transformed by my willingness to value myself and my time. It sets a powerful boundry and a great example.
Sounds like you have a really supportive husband. That in itself is worth celebrating.
A timer and writing when you first get up helps a lot also.
Best Wishes, Georgia

Permalink Reply by Rebecca Rasmussen on February 19, 2010 at 11:21am

Oh man, indulge yourself. You are worth it, no matter what happens (i.e. whether you produce something wonderful or not). And it sounds like you have a very dear husband worth listening to. You'll get everything done, eventually. And it is my belief that it is important for all of us to have rich internal lives for our children's sake. I know I don't want to only be known for being able to press a shirt and make the dinner and and and... see my point? You are writer if you believe you are. And, I believe you are :) Rebecca

Permalink Reply by Jackie Myronuk on February 21, 2010 at 10:16am

thanks Rebecca. This place is so great for that encouragement that we all need from time to time. I totally agree...if mama is happy...the whole family is happy ;-)

Permalink Reply by Jackie Myronuk on February 21, 2010 at 11:22am

sounds like you have it all figured out Rebecca! I haven't even gotten brave enough to risk the rejection letters so you're way ahead of me. This place is so great...I think I may be ready to take that final leap.

Cheers
Jackie

Permalink Reply by Julie Lynn Paavola on March 14, 2010 at 1:14pm

Bieke,
Yes... rather clean a toilet than find the next paragraph. THAT I can relate to.
I am new to SW and to the MW group. Such a relief to hear myself in all these discussions. So not alone...!
What a great drive we have within, a fire in the belly, that we simply must write despite all the countless demands on our time... JUST NOW got called away to bring my six year old's glasses to his little league game! More later. Glad to be part of the She Writes community.

Permalink Reply by Jackie Myronuk on March 18, 2010 at 7:50pm

What a great lot of advice Bieke...I love the idea of leaving the housework until everyone is home to 'watch' me toil. I guess everything about being a woman is about balance. Thank goodness we seem to excell at multitasking.

Good luck with your poems, I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!
Cheers
jackie

Permalink Reply by Suzanne Frischkorn on March 16, 2010 at 4:06pm

Jackie,
I haven't read through all the replies, but my advice is to treat your writing time as a job. Wake up every morning and get ready as if you were working out of the house, after the children are off to school, sit down at your desk. Give yourself work hours -- 9 to 3 with a lunch break. You must not leave your desk because your job is to be at your desk. (O.K. if you have to use the ladies room, I'll cut you a break.) I promise you that if you show up every day at the same time your muse will show up too. My favorite motto is: Don't be afraid to write crap. Write as much of it as you can and get it out of the way so you can get to the goods. If you look at it as a job you'll feel less guilty about the housework. You can get to the housework, with help from the kids, and husband, after work.

Hope this helps,
Suzanne Frischkorn

Permalink Reply by Jackie Myronuk on March 18, 2010 at 7:52pm

Thanks Suzanne..the permission to 'write crap' is exactly what I need. I find myself paralyzed by the thought of writing something that is worthless, hence I write nothing at all a good lot of the time. I'm still getting a hang of this writing as a full time job thing. I love it so much that sometimes it feels like I'm fooling around instead of doing something meaningful. I guess that's a good thing, right?

Thanks again
jackie

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