Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Amy Jo Sprague on November 9, 2009 at 7:36pm

k i'll try it first...off-the-cuff.....and NO EDITING, just write freely and quickly
SONG: (2) Sleepless by daisy may erlewine AND This Year's Love by david gray

Who's to know that you would fall in love with that girl who walked so pretty with her paperbag, daisies blooming over its sides. Who's to know what that moment felt like, or what drew you there. That first moment determines its end sometimes. The mystery becomes a duty and an engagement ring sparkles like snow on a slender finger. There is a house and cars and child. Christmas wreaths and lights aglow, laundry and fights that make you laugh. You two wanted so much so fast. You teased the suburbians, when really you're the same, only you can't afford a townhouse. The lawn looks like shit, the child senses something--ages ahead of her parents. You took your fiance inside a pretty box, with ribbons hanging over its sides. You had your child put the lid on for you. Your child punched holes in the top with a pencil so the two of you could breathe. They looked like stars. The ring of snow got lost in the darkness. She cried but you couldn't see her. You did, too.

Permalink Reply by E Victoria Flynn on November 10, 2009 at 1:28pm

I love it, Amy. It brought to mind so many things and also a couple songs by Feist. Beautiful imagery. I'll try one later, but I need to crack some Nano words out first. Thank you for sharing and being the brave first!

Permalink Reply by amber housh on November 10, 2009 at 1:32pm

Song, Sometimes it hurts by stabbing westward

Dark and pounding, the rain surrounds me as I walk down vacant alley ways. I want to want to walk right out of here, I want to flee, there is nowhere to turn. No one to turn to, and this pain is overwhelming, it forces all of my concentration to it. I fall to my knees scratching them as I hit, blood comes to the surface and stings its way through my body. I break down, walls crashing, thunder clapping, eyes swelling. If I could just get away, maybe I would be sane again. I am beating concrete now, the rain only seems to beat along with me falling so hard that I think for a moment I may be swept away in a flood of black murky waters. A smile pulls my lips as I think for a moment, falling back into endless smacks of waves washing over me, washing me. Maybe even freeing me, maybe letting me out of this place. No more enemies in my head telling me to run this way and that way and stop, stay, run, run, run, dont look back. I am almost done here in the dark depths of this moment, the rain stops, the music stops, the pain stops, I look up and there you are. Your hand is extended and you pull me back to you, I have only ventured down a path that does not have to be so. I wipe the tears and let you help me.

Permalink Reply by Amy Jo Sprague on November 10, 2009 at 1:45pm

Amber this gave me goosebumps. It reminds me of Blue October's "I don't want you to be alone down there"...not sure what its called. You really brought me down there--to that dark lonely place, and each time i think of the end, and the smile tugging at your lips, i get mad goosebumps. Amazing stuff!

Permalink Reply by Amy Jo Sprague on November 13, 2009 at 3:57pm

Got another one: Song: Ain't No Love by david gray

"Loving From the Poles"

Even if I chose to be well do you really think you could tell the difference in me? I do as well as I can and I can't show you the gray carnival I see around me in that unloving place; I can't show you the rain that looks so lovely on the green blades of grass like magic baubles, crystal balls when I am in love with the world in my teeth. I understand why you have to go, I understand I can't mirror that love I have inside--you could have tried to take it, I'd have let you steal it. I shouldn't have to apologize to you that I can't feel you when you touch me. I didn't opt for dissociation; I didn't opt to meet you when I am such an aftermath of abuse. You grew up in dandelions and cartoons, you never knew secrets and the pain of dark. I can feel the fresh breeze on my skin; I can see me as a new woman who discarded that sad, ugly girl. But you didn't want to love her and she's a part of me. Yet all I can think is I'm Sorry Im Sorry I'm Sorry. I'd love to wrap myself around you and tell you how scared I am and how brave I am, but I've tired you out I think. You say "maybe with some time..." and I gave you back your ring. Sometimes, when the great breath of hope exhales, I think I will always be alone. And I have to learn to make that okay. I can't choose to be well but I can choose to inhale this "bipolar" disorder as a part of me; it's who I am. In my eyes, someday, I'll be enough.

Permalink Reply by Priscilla Maxine McGee on December 1, 2009 at 2:50pm

Amber, this is nice.

amber housh said:

Song, Sometimes it hurts by stabbing westward

Dark and pounding, the rain surrounds me as I walk down vacant alley ways. I want to want to walk right out of here, I want to flee, there is nowhere to turn. No one to turn to, and this pain is overwhelming, it forces all of my concentration to it. I fall to my knees scratching them as I hit, blood comes to the surface and stings its way through my body. I break down, walls crashing, thunder clapping, eyes swelling. If I could just get away, maybe I would be sane again. I am beating concrete now, the rain only seems to beat along with me falling so hard that I think for a moment I may be swept away in a flood of black murky waters. A smile pulls my lips as I think for a moment, falling back into endless smacks of waves washing over me, washing me. Maybe even freeing me, maybe letting me out of this place. No more enemies in my head telling me to run this way and that way and stop, stay, run, run, run, dont look back. I am almost done here in the dark depths of this moment, the rain stops, the music stops, the pain stops, I look up and there you are. Your hand is extended and you pull me back to you, I have only ventured down a path that does not have to be so. I wipe the tears and let you help me.

Permalink Reply by Priscilla Maxine McGee on December 1, 2009 at 2:51pm

This is good.

Amy Jo Sprague said:

Got another one: Song: Ain't No Love by david gray

"Loving From the Poles"

Even if I chose to be well do you really think you could tell the difference in me? I do as well as I can and I can't show you the gray carnival I see around me in that unloving place; I can't show you the rain that looks so lovely on the green blades of grass like magic baubles, crystal balls when I am in love with the world in my teeth. I understand why you have to go, I understand I can't mirror that love I have inside--you could have tried to take it, I'd have let you steal it. I shouldn't have to apologize to you that I can't feel you when you touch me. I didn't opt for dissociation; I didn't opt to meet you when I am such an aftermath of abuse. You grew up in dandelions and cartoons, you never knew secrets and the pain of dark. I can feel the fresh breeze on my skin; I can see me as a new woman who discarded that sad, ugly girl. But you didn't want to love her and she's a part of me. Yet all I can think is I'm Sorry Im Sorry I'm Sorry. I'd love to wrap myself around you and tell you how scared I am and how brave I am, but I've tired you out I think. You say "maybe with some time..." and I gave you back your ring. Sometimes, when the great breath of hope exhales, I think I will always be alone. And I have to learn to make that okay. I can't choose to be well but I can choose to inhale this "bipolar" disorder as a part of me; it's who I am. In my eyes, someday, I'll be enough.

Permalink Reply by Priscilla Maxine McGee on December 1, 2009 at 2:52pm

Amy Jo this is a wonderful idea, I love this.

Amy Jo Sprague said:

k i'll try it first...off-the-cuff.....and NO EDITING, just write freely and quickly
SONG: (2) Sleepless by daisy may erlewine AND This Year's Love by david gray

Who's to know that you would fall in love with that girl who walked so pretty with her paperbag, daisies blooming over its sides. Who's to know what that moment felt like, or what drew you there. That first moment determines its end sometimes. The mystery becomes a duty and an engagement ring sparkles like snow on a slender finger. There is a house and cars and child. Christmas wreaths and lights aglow, laundry and fights that make you laugh. You two wanted so much so fast. You teased the suburbians, when really you're the same, only you can't afford a townhouse. The lawn looks like shit, the child senses something--ages ahead of her parents. You took your fiance inside a pretty box, with ribbons hanging over its sides. You had your child put the lid on for you. Your child punched holes in the top with a pencil so the two of you could breathe. They looked like stars. The ring of snow got lost in the darkness. She cried but you couldn't see her. You did, too.

Permalink Reply by Priscilla Maxine McGee on December 2, 2009 at 9:41am

I guess I will give it a try! The song is called The Gathering.

My heart is pounding and there is a sound of a high powered fan ringing in my ears. This sound that I here from all round is, drowning out these thoughts of mine. I wonder where my love has gone. As I sit here I am all alone. I have found myself in a warm and sad place. Where is my love I can not see him? I think again where could he be. Although his presence is all over me. This presence That I feel is loving and kind. I hear his voice, as it speaks to my mind. Where is this love that I can not see, but I feel his presence all over me. The presence I feel just has to be real, I do not understand everything that I feel. This beautiful feeling that's all around, it's taking over this heart of mine. I think I know from whence it comes, because there is no other love within this world. Than the purest love that one can feel, it is not based upon what I say, feel or the things that I do from day to day. This love is here no matter what, without condition and without strife. This presence has been here throughout my life, and may not be a person that I can see but this love is real and is here throughout eternity.

Permalink Reply by Amy Jo Sprague on April 20, 2010 at 3:00am

Nice job Priscilla! Beautiful!

Permalink Reply by Amy Jo Sprague on April 20, 2010 at 2:59am

song: Needles in My Eyes (beta band) (I don't know where the hell this came from, just started typing to the song)
It's dark yet but the birds are at it already. Goddamned things. Why should anything sing? Where's my cane? Why can't I get out of this damn bed, this cold bed, this little bed. Mauvis sleeps in a glowing white sheet, her back to me in her hospital bed. She doesn't look right beneath all them bars like that, caging her in. She would've hated that, my Mauv. Last year, at this time, she'd be in the kitchen in her slippers, making decaf, listening to the am station. Boy oh boy how she loved Tammy Wynette. Now she could sing. They don't sing like her no more. The kitchen would be warm and lit up, blinds down against the birds until the first strips of morning sun chopped across the table. Morning was our favorite time of the day. "I love you, my sweetheart," I said to her soft cheek every morning for fifty-two years, as I shuffled toward the bathroom. "I love you, Ev." I find my cane and go to the kitchen. I leave the light off. The Hospice nurse will be here soon, singing her damned cheery song, too. What is it with everyone? My God. My bird, my bird is gone.