Hello, fellow writers!

My name is Julia Mae.  As you can see from the title, I am working on the submission process for a long novel.  Specifically, a YA fantasy named Ebony, Book 1: Ragnor's Bane.  The query letter has been (blissfully!) finished thanks to my published and unpublished writer friends.  

I've included it here so you can all get an idea of the story's flow, etc.

But HOW, when one has such a long, long, (first) book, does one write a short and punchy synopsis?  Any advice?  

I read in some places that including real quotes whenever possible is actually a good idea.  But is it?  Writer's Market was not much help, because they say it depends on the agent.  The first agent I plan to query to does NOT give a specific length so I don't know exactly what I should be aiming for.  One page? (yeah, right.)  Three? Ten?

Is it all right if it sounds like a long-winded book report?  Or should I make twists? Excitement? 

Any and all advice is welcome, especially if you've been published before or recently accepted by agents/editors.  HELP!  And I am sorry if this appeared somewhere else in another format - I did a quick search but I didn't see anything immediately helpful.

Sincerely,

JMS

QUERY:

"Dear Agent X,
In a world of failed heroes, where a guild of magicians is sworn to protect Humankind from a race of beautiful but sinister Fae bent on destroying it, a young bard must find her place.

Targeted to an upper young adult audience, Ebony Book 1: Ragnor’s Bane is a 109,000 word fantasy about heroine Ebony Havenworth and her struggle to understand why everyone seems to know more about her than she knows about herself.  An accomplished musician, Ebony is forced to abandon her music and study magic - a power she's been ordered not to use.  Now, suddenly, her talents are needed in the imminent battle against Faekind.  

Encouraged by the wizard Melmidoc, Ebony joins “Ragnor’s Bane”: a band of teenagers playing assassin sent to distract the tyrannical Fae king Ragnor while the real rebels take the throne.

Ebony learns that being the focus of a king’s attention is more dangerous than she had anticipated.  And while her companions bring her the answers she had sought for so long, they also lead her into perils she hadn’t even begun to imagine.  While she fights to gain control of her newfound magical abilities, Ebony dredges up truths about her past that will change her future forever.  And all the while, ancient and dangerous legends are waking…

Ragnor’s Bane works as a stand-alone novel but is meant to unfold as a full trilogy chronicling Ebony’s life and the lives of the friends closest to her.  It’s a story about friendship, hope, and answering the ultimate question of who we are within our own world.  I would be happy to send you a partial or complete manuscript for your review.
 
Thank you very much for your consideration.

Sincerely, 
Julia Mae Staley

 "