It’s been a while since I’ve posted, I know. I’ve made all sorts of excuses to myself in order to justify these quiet pages, but, the bottom line is simplistic (in words anyway). I’ve been afraid.

Each time I journey to the past, it brings about darkness which I had tucked away, buried in a mental box, not meant for visitations.

Then I ask myself, what good comes from my newfound light if I leave others in the dark simply because I don’t care to go back and share where I’ve been,… Continue

We’ve all heard of, perhaps even known someone who quietly killed themselves. I’m not referring to a peaceful death, rather one that leaves the survivors baffled because there was no note left behind, no final farewell in which the reasons for such finality are explained.

Why would someone do this? I can’t answer for everyone, only myself, someone who overcame a deep desire for death.

The majority of my life has been spent in a pattern of self destruction, finding ways to ensure…

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In December, I married a fabulous man with two wonderful sons, one of which has aspergers syndrome. Getting to know this 16 year old boy has been a journey around a mind I could never have imagined 1 short year ago. I say a “journey around” rather than “into” because Darryl doesn’t have the capability to share and allow others into his thoughts the way many others do. God has given him the unique ability to see the world in a way many of us will never understand, strictly black and white.…

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A life spent lacking in love’s knowledge led me to a desperate search for the elusive secret others seemed to be whispering about, sharing with each other, and leaving me out of.

10/29/87

I kept thinking the heat would smother me before my shift at the shoe store ended that day. I had worn an oversized sweater to hide a middle that had yet to begin thickening. I was in a hurry for things to happen, the little bump, the first flutter, labor, and then the ultimate gift, holding my…

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