Amends, he wrote. Please let me make amends to you. My program requires it. The 9th step says that we must make direct amends to people we have harmed except where to do so would injure them or others. 

I didn’t understand, though later I would spend hours upon hours googling AA sites learning all I could about steps, colored chips, acceptance and giving oneself over to one’s higher power.

When he wrote that he had become an alcoholic, that he had…

You told me once

when you were still talking to me

how you love voices.

No two are alike, you said.

Like people or snowflakes.

Both a noun and a verb,

the organ of the soul,

voice rouses memories 

and quickens the pulse.

Voice is alive.

There is no sound

without breath.

My favorite sound is

a sigh of exhalation

the ~~ahhhhhhh~~~ of surrender.

I…

   On the eve of my daughter’s wedding, an image comes to my mind. It’s a self portrait of sorts, a negative, a bride in reverse. Instead of white, she is wearing black.  The dress is strapless and beaded, with a sweetheart neck, a corseted waist and layers of crinoline flowing to the floor. She’s a doyenne, with red lips and kohl lined eyes, her black hair rolled and folded tightly into place with pearls. She is la mere, la madre, ema, and she stands before her daughter in this…