"Oh, thanks for noticing! I posted because I've been doing research and gathering links on how to successfully self-publish, but then once I posted the comment I looked at it and it just seemed spammy. I didn't want it to look like I was…"
"Ruth, I got an email that you commented on my post about self-publishing, but your comment isn't there. You may need to join The Submission Mission to comment? Or maybe you removed your comment? Anyway, I appreciated you weighing in!"
"This sentence is confusing me. I think maybe it's too many words about explosion? From the sharp voice that makes her jump to the "bazookaed" (which is a very odd word, it seems to me), to WMD. I think it might be…"
"Agreed! It conjures a familiar feeling of being forgotten, ignored, not wanted that we all experience at some point. I definitely want to know more and I already feel extremely sympathetic to this character."
"The "this morning" at the end feels awkward to me. It seems to fight the present tense of the sentence somehow. I like that it starts in action, though, and I am definitely curious to see where he's going."
"I agree, the "it" appears to refer back to the bicycle, which doesn't make sense. Leaving the "it" mysterious also seems contrived. Try writing the sentence with the "it" replaced with what the thing…"
"As far as I can tell, Smashwords only does ebooks, is that right? I currently have my new one out on Lulu for paperback and Smashwords too, for all the ebook channels.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who is having…"
Ruth, I got an email that you commented on my post about self-publishing, but your comment isn't there. You may need to join The Submission Mission to comment? Or maybe you removed your comment? Anyway, I appreciated you weighing in!