Sins of Violence: Pride and Envy

by Debra Hannula, Lawyer/Activist July 8, 2009

Pride and envy seem to be two sides of the same coin.

Pride is actually weakness covered by a thin, coppery patina of acceptability. As is envy.

The two manifest typically in power struggles that are not really about power, but weakness.

The truly empowered person feels joy in the accomplishments of others, not envy. Pride is threatened by another’s success; envy is ignited by it.

Two of the seven deadly sins, PRIDE and ENVY, rear their ugly heads in the arena of domestic violence, where I have spent time as an activist, lawyer and advocate.

Pride is the man with the lovely wife who, as long as she obeys his every demand, feels all is well in the world. He knows he is the envy of others, because she is so pure and ideal and adoring of him. But is she? As soon as other men gaze at her admiringly, her accomplishments pose a threat; they no longer reflect his image. Pride commands he hold onto her tighter; monitor her every move. Pride dictates that she adore only him. Where is the original, innocent girl he fell in love with? She is a woman, a mother, a person, herself. He is envious of her, and Pride demands he grip her ever tighter. Money, odometers, outsiders - all must be kept in check. Envy tells him others want her; she must want them. Psychological games, grabbing, pushing, pulling, hitting, beating become weapons. Envy and Pride collude. They dictate all the useful tools.

Maybe she will escape; damaged and wounded, but wise. The woman sees Pride and Envy, stripped of their camouflage, for what they are: weakness and cowardice.