The hand creates magic- whether with a drum, paintbrush, or ritual tool.

Hands bring the unseen into the realm of the seen.

-Joanna Powell Colbert

artist Deborah Koff Chapin…

This blog post reviews the importance of being offline -- for me -- when I'm writing. Some suggestions and ideas here for anyone else who may struggle with internet a.d.d. :-)

http://www.pamwrites.net/2012/02/03/one-thing-at-a-time/

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans

~John Lennon

Sure, I drank, but my drug of choice has always been planning.

What can I say? I love to plan. I plan my meals, outfits, workouts, workdays, weekends, vacations. You name it, I plan it. And, while I might not have been an extreme example of an alcoholic, I am an extreme planner.

Planning helps me feel (falsely) in control of my life. It’s one of the ways in…

“Every gambler knows that the secret to survivin’ is knowing what to throw away and knowing what to keep. ‘Cause every hand’s a winner, and every hand’s a loser and the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.” ~Kenny Rogers

It’s that time of the year when many of us pack up our belongings in cardboard boxes and move. To a new apartment or house, to a new city and maybe a new state. To be closer to this…

If you were an American girl growing up in the 70s and 80s, you probably read Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. Judy Blume’s quintessential coming of age story focuses on the sixth-grade Margaret, as she deals with boobs, bras, boys, and first periods. Because Margaret’s Christian mom and Jewish dad choose not to bring her up in…

Recently I had a string of days during which I was just cranky. Here’s a sampling of things that were pressing my buttons so you get my gist:

• I’m cranky that people don’t let others out of elevators or off subway cars before pushing their way on
• I’m cranky that people walk 4 across on the sidewalk and don’t make room for two-way traffic
• I’m cranky that the wind in Boston blows my hair into my…

For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. ~Shakespeare

One of the main reasons I drank, especially when I was alone, was to mask uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.

On countless nights I’d come home after work with any number of options as to what to do: I could have gone to the gym or out for a walk, called a friend to say hello, read a book, or done some writing. But I often…

One of my biggest fears about quitting drinking was that it would dissolve friendships. Alcohol was the bond I shared with certain friends and without it, I feared we’d inevitably part ways. Once I took the risk of quitting drinking – and of seriously changing my social circle – the results were surprising. While some friendships fizzled, others grew stronger.

Simon (names have been…

Something strange I've noticed about myself is my unwillingness to be creative on happy, sunny, responsibility-free Saturdays, but feel more creative when I'm unhappy, miserable, and should be doing something else.

I don't know why.  It's a really strange phenomenon, and it takes something of a mental trick for me to convince myself to actually work on writing on the weekends.

This is how I think:

"It's Saturday!  I have plenty of time to…

“Less is more” ~Robert Browning

“More is more” ~Unknown

When it comes to certain things in life – especially those we seek out for their pleasurable qualities – how do you know how much is the right amount?

Whether it’s booze, shopping, TV, sleep, food, exercise, sex, work…even relaxing or keeping busy, how much is too much and when do you know you’ve crossed the…

Earlier when I started this entry, the title was going to be "dismay: character sheets".  

That was about 3 hours ago.

I never got a chance to have my online emo self pity-party because Husband decided to start a conversation with me about a video game deal he was looking at.

You must understand; this was by no means a bad thing!  I love Husband dearly, and like helping him with these things if I can wrap my mind around the technical financials of the new deal…

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place. ~ Jimmy Breslin

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.  ~Dr. Seuss

Saying the words – I drink, therefore I am – sounds ridiculous to me now. Yet, before I stopped, I sort of felt this way.…

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with. ~Wayne Dyer

We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.  ~Japanese Proverb

When I first quit drinking more than 3 years ago, I didn’t go out much. It was tough for me to imagine going to the same places and not ordering a drink. The very idea presented so many questions:

• Would I have…

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

- Mohandas Gandhi

Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.

- Oscar Wilde

Rufus Wainwright (nee Pipsqueak) came to me when he was 4…

Peeling away those layers, though, has…

When I first stopped drinking, I had a recurring dream in which I was raising a large martini glass to my lips. I’d inhale the juniper aroma of the gin, spy three large olives bobbing, and watch as beads of sweat rolled down the sides of the glass in sensual anticipation.

They probably lasted just a few seconds, but these dream sent my brain into utter mayhem.

Before I could take a sip, I’d catch myself, realize my mistake – that I had forgotten my decision…

I had just returned from a wonderful weekend with my boyfriend. Though I’d planned to take the bus, we awoke to heavy snow and he insisted on buying me a train ticket. From the Back Bay train station, I walked to a coffee shop to pass the hour before a class started.

Sitting at a table, I saw an older man, with a full beard of salt and pepper, bundled up in a winter coat and Red Sox cap; he was reading until I finished ordering my drink, when I turned and we made eye contact. I sat at…