I love this world we are in. Daily, I am awed by the beauty surrounding us. Yesterday, as I walked the dog, I was greeted by a bright, winter blue sky with ripples of pale orange clouds skimming across. Of course I said, "Thank you for this beautiful morning." I can always find a beauty to appreciate when I am out. Sometimes it's nature. Sometimes it's the smile of another human, a gesture, a laugh, a happy dog, a hawk's cry. Too much to bore you with. You already know.
I am also awed by the ugliness and cruelty I can see, every day. We are so hard on ourselves and each other. More cliches, blah, blah, blah. Again, you already know.
What I really need to say (sorry if I repeat myself) is, even though this is a wondrous, beautiful, awful, exciting place, I often find myself homesick. I feel like an observer, here to learn and experience, but not at home. I long for the peace and other beauty of Heaven. The presence of God and the angels. No, I'm not suicidal. But I do feel like I'm on assignment and I'm not done, yet. I fear I'm not doing it right but I can't find the correct path. I ask for guidance but I hear, "Wait. Rest. Be at peace." But I'm supposed to be busy, helping, accomplishing, multi-tasking. How long do I wait? This can't be right. I must be doing it wrong.
So, I hope to work on my discipline as I rest, heal, listen, wait. Please let me know if you have received my messages by mistake so I can do what I'm supposed to be doing.