I've been thinking a lot about brains lately.  I'll get to the zombies in a bit; first I wanna talk about brains.  If that bores you just skip it.  

The human mind is an amazing thing.  The way it works - or doesn't work - is fascinating.  

Brains are like computers.  

A brain with ADD/ADHD is like a computer that periodically freezes, reboots, or starts randomly flipping through folders on its own.  

I often think that my "computer" is very disorganized; folders and files all out of order, some folders empty when they shouldn't be, and a lot of folders hidden or password protected for no reason.  Which makes it hard to think, remember, or explain things.  The data is there; it's just all mixed up and jumbled around.  

Like using a computer that has no organizational system.  

I compare my brain to a lot of things; not just computers.  I often say, "My train of thought is temporarily derailed."  But I tend to think of computer analogies most often.  

It's not just ADD/ADHD that I use to draw comparisons between my brain and computers.  I'm epileptic.  I guess.  Is there any "Sort-Of-Epilepsy"?  They can't diagnose me because they can't figure out why I have seizures; not the cause or anything else.  

A seizure is like having your brain short-circuit.  Everything that was working fine seconds ago goes haywire, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.  

It's scary.  

I had two seizures last week, one right after the other.  I regained consciousness in between, but not control of my motor functions.  I lost control of my bladder.  I couldn't move and couldn't stop anything that was happening.  

I felt embarrassed, humiliated; ashamed.  I felt helpless and terrified.  I was stuck inside my body and I couldn't do anything.  

I was so afraid that I was going to be trapped like that forever.  It really wasn't very long but it felt like an eternity.  

I wanted to cry, but I couldn't.  I was too afraid.  

That's my brain for you.  

I haven't had a seizure in three and a half years.  I'd had four seizures in my entire life, before last week.  Now I've had six.  Six seizures in almost twenty-five years.  So I'm not used to it.  They just pop up when everything starts going alright.  

Having seizures like that; losing my license through no fault of my own really doesn't help my victim complex.  But I can't drive now.  I haven't been told that officially yet; but I know the drill and I don't intend to be on the road when it's possibly dangerous.  

I had to move.  Either drop out of school - which means paying back my student loans right away and we can't afford that - or move to residence and only see my family on weekends.  

So I'm living in residence.  I have an awesome room-mate; one who doesn't party and is focused on school. I miss my hubby and my kids.  I got invited to a party today and turned it down because, cool as it sounded, I need to focus on catching up on my assignments.  

All this because of my brain short-circuiting.  Crazy what that "computer" can do.  

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Speaking of brains, did you know that the US military is undergoing training for the Zombie Apocalypse?  

It's true!  Just click and read if you don't believe me.

I would die in the Zombie Apocalypse.  

I'm not being pessimistic.  I'm being realistic.  

I have weak lungs and can't run fast or far because I struggle to breathe when I try.  

When the Zombie Apocalypse comes, since I know I won't make it anyway, I could be heroic and sacrifice myself to buy time for my friends and family.  

Except I'm not that self-sacrificing.  

I would die for the ones I love, but I won't let myself be eaten alive for them.  

I have this thing with pain, you see.  I hate it.  

No, I would commit suicide before any zombies could get close to me.  

I'm not a coward.  I'm just not a hero.  

What will you do in the Zombie Apocalypse?  

Haven't thought that far ahead?

You should.  It's coming.