Husband Joe is the grill-meister. He makes an enviable grilled Bourbon salmon, barbecued chicken, and melt-in-your-mouth T-bone (and I’m not a steak-lover). Even his blackened hot dogs are incredible – my mom was Joe’s biggest grilled hot dog fan! There is literally nothing that he can’t grill to perfection.

Just ask the vultures!

One evening after we’d sat down to enjoy our dinner, we looked out on the deck to see a large (they all look large up close, don’t they?) turkey vulture sitting on our deck, right next to the grill.

At this time, we had an outside kitty named O.C. and I was worried for his safety. What happened when the vulture learned that grill time was over? Would he settle for an orange tiger-striped, male Manx kitty (sans tail)? Theoretically, vultures only eat those things that are already dead, right? What if he was ill and wasn’t in his right vulture mind? I wasn’t sure where O.C. was but I knew I didn’t want him to become dinner so I went out on the deck to scare the vulture away.

I asked him politely to leave. I got a broom and made “shoo-ing” sounds. He was unaffected. I made loud noises and flapped my arms. Nothing, nada. I got within five feet of him and my courage waned. I could see the hole through his prehistoric-looking nose and that did it. I ran back into the house. I decided it was easier to find O.C. and get him into the garage then try and persuade the vulture to do just about anything. In about 20 minutes, “Vulty” gave up the roost to pursue other interests. Joe discovered that his grease pan underneath the grill required emptying. I guess even the drippings were hard to resist.

Before moving to our home in Indiana, I wouldn’t have dreamed of seeing a vulture up close and oh, so personal. Let alone one who has plopped himself on the railing of our deck. I’m prepared next time to be a bit more hospitable. I'll ask him to bring his own plate and fork — that’s the least he could do!

P.S. I did have a great photo of the vulture sitting on our deck railing but have since gotten a new computer and the photo has disappeared. Suffice it to say they look a lot bigger close-up, and hanging over your family grill.

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