"RANGERS VS BRUINS LIVE STREAM
http://youtu.be/dpj4Smrk0gQ"
How do you write when you're broken?
How do you write when you’re broken? That’s the question I have been pondering lately. It seems that every time I start to climb up something knocks me back down. I’ve been down so much lately that I’m starting to get a crick in my neck from trying to look up.
I don’t share a lot of personal information because … well, I just don’t. Without getting into specific detail I will say that more plans have fallen through. Plans that I really needed to work, not just to further my career, but to survive. My family has suffered, my writing has suffered … I have suffered.
I have just lost my day job for the third time. Budget cuts and the economy is killing me, almost literally. Think you’ve got it bad? (I’m sure you do. I realize I’m not alone here. I’m just trying to make others realize that neither are they.) My trash can got repossessed this past year. That’s right. My freaking trash can. Now that’s broke.
Of course, there’s much more than that going on. Lots of bad things, unfortunately. I’m considering selling the knives in my back for extra cash. LOL But, in all seriousness, my writing has suffered. I’ve finished editing one book, written another that needs another go over and am working on yet another.
I’m trying to find the motivation to write about love when all I feel is hate and pain. Passion is passion I keep telling myself. Turn it into what you need it to be. It’s not just that I’m broke … I’m broken. I have reached my limit. How do you write out of that? How do you take all of that pain and make it something more? I’ve done it before. So why is this time any different? I guess because I’m getting older and I’m sick to death of having to start over again. I’m sick of not being able to trust anyone of not being able to make any plans or count on anything at all.
I’m sick and I’m tired. Period. And even though I want to quit … quitting is not in me. It is not. As long as I can move I will not break completely. I have been broken before. I have the scars to prove it. Dare I ask: What next? I’m still standing. I’m still writing. If it takes a bottle of wine and lots of Barry White I will write that damn love scene. Somehow I will find a way to take this passion and make something good of it. Otherwise I will explode.
I’m writing this to let other people who are hurting know that you are not alone. I know I’m not the only one the economy has affected badly. All I’ve got to do is watch the news to understand that. Some people think that being a writer is glamorous. Well, it isn’t. I love it, but I still need another source of income to pay my bills. Not to mention advertising. People can’t buy what they don’t know about. Guess who hasn’t been able to afford an ad in almost a year? That would be me.
Trying to find the time to look for a job/keep one plus promote myself and look after a family is taking its toll. But as long as I have wax the candle will continue to burn on both ends. There is no other way.
I am a writer. I do it because I must. Storytelling is my first love. I will write until I collapse. I am a woman and I am strong. For those who have helped to knock me down, I will not stay this way.
If I ever cease to get up check my pulse.
I don’t share a lot of personal information because … well, I just don’t. Without getting into specific detail I will say that more plans have fallen through. Plans that I really needed to work, not just to further my career, but to survive. My family has suffered, my writing has suffered … I have suffered.
I have just lost my day job for the third time. Budget cuts and the economy is killing me, almost literally. Think you’ve got it bad? (I’m sure you do. I realize I’m not alone here. I’m just trying to make others realize that neither are they.) My trash can got repossessed this past year. That’s right. My freaking trash can. Now that’s broke.
Of course, there’s much more than that going on. Lots of bad things, unfortunately. I’m considering selling the knives in my back for extra cash. LOL But, in all seriousness, my writing has suffered. I’ve finished editing one book, written another that needs another go over and am working on yet another.
I’m trying to find the motivation to write about love when all I feel is hate and pain. Passion is passion I keep telling myself. Turn it into what you need it to be. It’s not just that I’m broke … I’m broken. I have reached my limit. How do you write out of that? How do you take all of that pain and make it something more? I’ve done it before. So why is this time any different? I guess because I’m getting older and I’m sick to death of having to start over again. I’m sick of not being able to trust anyone of not being able to make any plans or count on anything at all.
I’m sick and I’m tired. Period. And even though I want to quit … quitting is not in me. It is not. As long as I can move I will not break completely. I have been broken before. I have the scars to prove it. Dare I ask: What next? I’m still standing. I’m still writing. If it takes a bottle of wine and lots of Barry White I will write that damn love scene. Somehow I will find a way to take this passion and make something good of it. Otherwise I will explode.
I’m writing this to let other people who are hurting know that you are not alone. I know I’m not the only one the economy has affected badly. All I’ve got to do is watch the news to understand that. Some people think that being a writer is glamorous. Well, it isn’t. I love it, but I still need another source of income to pay my bills. Not to mention advertising. People can’t buy what they don’t know about. Guess who hasn’t been able to afford an ad in almost a year? That would be me.
Trying to find the time to look for a job/keep one plus promote myself and look after a family is taking its toll. But as long as I have wax the candle will continue to burn on both ends. There is no other way.
I am a writer. I do it because I must. Storytelling is my first love. I will write until I collapse. I am a woman and I am strong. For those who have helped to knock me down, I will not stay this way.
If I ever cease to get up check my pulse.
Views: 3
Tags: economy, hardship, inspiration, life, paranormal, romance, strong, women, work, writing
Comment
-
Comment by Tracey H. Kitts on April 3, 2010 at 11:14am -
Hollye, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I'm getting all misty over all this encouragement. ((((((((((HUG)))))))))))
-
Comment by Hollye Dexter on April 3, 2010 at 11:07am -
Girl, I have been in that exact place, many times in my life.
Years ago I lost my rental home in a fire - had no insurance, and both my husband and I had home based businesses. So we lost all our possessions, our jobs and our pets, in about ten minutes. We were homeless, with two kids. My credit was ruined. I couldn't even rent a video for my kids. thank God for the library. We spent a lot of time there.
The reason I'm telling you this is - here I am years later, and guess what - I'm still standing! And you know what all that loss could never take away from me? What was INSIDE of me. No fire, no bankruptcy court, no grabage-can repossesser could take my creativity and imagination.
So write like the rich woman that you are.
WRITE!
All this other stuff- it will pass, just like it has before. You know that.
(hug)
-
Comment by Tracey H. Kitts on April 3, 2010 at 10:54am
-
Thank you so much Phoebe and Elizabeth for your comments. And yes, the Haiti thing did make me feel a little better. Although I'm almost homeless here, at least we don't have that much mud. I'm all for a yard sale:) I'm glad you liked the line. Humor is how I deal with stress. My nickname has been Joker for as long as I can remember.
Although I'm sorry that other people have it rough, it's great to know I'm not alone. Thank you:)
-
Comment by Elizabeth Hilts on April 2, 2010 at 9:28pm -
I hear you about the being broke and feeling broken. And I'm sorry you're having such a hard time; believe me when I say that I'm going through much of the same stuff.
For me, writing has always been what I do to put my Humpty Dumpty self back together again. Whether what I write is "good" or "bad," it's the action of writing that makes me feel powerful.
Thank you for sharing this.
-
Comment by Phoebe Wilcox on April 2, 2010 at 8:00pm
-
Hi Tracey, Whenever I'm going through a rough time, which is BTW pretty much all the time, well, my Dad says things like, "hey, you could be in Haiti in the mud and pouring rain with no place to live and no food." Does that make you feel better?! And your writing seems okay to me. You said you were going to sell the knives in your back for extra cash and that is a great line! You can sell some of the knives in my back while you're at it--I'll donate them to the cause! We could actually have a community yard sale, a block party of the betrayed! All the creepos can come by and buy their own stinkin' weapons back from us, eh? Believe me, you are certainly not alone. I always think that pain in actually really good for writing. It's like a weird fertilizer. You'll be okay. Just don't stoop to the level of the back-stabbers and creepos if you can help it. It's always good to have your self-respect if nothing else....
-
Comment by Tracey H. Kitts on April 1, 2010 at 11:04am
-
It's nice to know someone understands. I'll certainly check out your blog.
Latest Activity
Deborah Armstrong commented on the group 'Small Publishers and Independent Authors'"Julie - I agree with Petrea. I've done everything she mentioned except for the video. I accept all invitations and always carry promos in my purse - bookmarks, note pads and business cards. I also joined a women's business group.…"
Liz Shaw replied to the discussion 'What did you blog about today?' in the group Bloggers: Let's Make It Work!"Dew drops http://bit.ly/11PfhrM ; #visualprompt #writingprompt
~~~~
The 5/19 Carnival of #Creativity is posted http://bit.ly/16I9bdC #writingtips #amwriting "
Top Content
Badge
© 2013 Created by Kamy Wicoff.
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||
You need to be a member of She Writes to add comments!
Join She Writes