If I could tell him one thing, it would be this: be who you are, now.  I can tell him, but not without that lingering notion that I don’t really mean it. I can tell him, but not yet without the tears in my eyes.

If I could say one last thing, it would be this: love you who are, now…right now.  I can tell him, but he’s not ready.  I can say the words, but he thinks me biased, blinded by preciousness.

I tell you this: I have seen unconditional love.  I have held it tightly only to let it fly.  I have danced with it until my feet were bruised and bloodied.  I have taken it on as me.

And then I get scared.

Yet above and below there is a sense that we are safe.  I bleed into it sometimes.  I feel pushed by it.  The unconditional love is there.  It is a well I draw from on instinct.  When I look in his eyes, I drink from that well.  We live there, I think.  But we forget.

So I’ll tell him all I feel compelled to in silence.  I will whisper it as a prayer to this soft, yet empty room.  I will let my words bounce gently off the walls and gather them up as light kisses on my skin.

And I will know: I can be who I am, now.  I can love who I am, now…right now.

And all is unfolding just as it should.

Indeed, I cannot be anything but what I am.

---

http://danielleboonstra.com

I am the author of Without Fear of Falling, my first novel due out in April 2013.

Views: 10

Tags: communication, love, marriage, pain, self-love

Comment

You need to be a member of She Writes to add comments!

Join She Writes

Latest Activity

Julie Couture replied to the discussion 'What did you blog about today?' in the group Bloggers: Let's Make It Work!
"The Hoodie Dilemma...one young man's perspective on the consequences of wearing a hoodie following the deaths of Mike Brown and Eric Garner. http://www.mid-life-endeavors.com/?p=1229"
6 minutes ago
Deborah Ailman posted blog posts
22 minutes ago
Barbara Stark-Nemon commented on the blog post '[SWP: Behind the Book] The Sweetness: the girl on the cover'
"Love this story, Sande.  We have much in common in the genesis of our novels. I look forward to reading Sweetness!"
24 minutes ago
Barbara Stark-Nemon liked Sande Boritz Berger's blog post [SWP: Behind the Book] The Sweetness: the girl on the cover
29 minutes ago

Members

Badge

Loading…

© 2014   Created by Kamy Wicoff.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service