There are moments that arrive without warning, when walls close in, when the air thins, knees buckle, and I feel myself dissolving into the earth. TIme stops, and the raw reality of now reminds me that Alex is (still) dead. Writing these words is never easy, but tonight, for some reason, it leaves me breathless. In this freeze-frame moment, he dies all over again. The scab rips off, the bleeding refuses to stop, and I retreat to a fetal position, holding on for dear life. No book deal, no blog, no television or radio interview or notoriety will ever change this reality. The presence of absence stares me straight in the eye tonight, blurring my vision, blinding me into a state of complete and utter darkness. Fade to black.

Views: 81

Comment

You need to be a member of She Writes to add comments!

Join She Writes

Comment by Edith O Nuallain on June 1, 2012 at 2:01pm

So powerful and heart wrenching. All I can do is stand beside you. Thinking of you, Edith xxx

Latest Activity

Emily Lackey commented on the blog post '[The Art of Submission] It's Not You It's Me'
"Sakki, love that story of your artist friend and that quote. What a wonderful idea: instead of waiting for acceptances, strive for one hundred rejections. Now that I can do. In fact I've already begun: 17 down, 83 to go. Thank you, thank…"
3 minutes ago
Melanie Macek replied to the discussion 'My NaNo Kick off - A Writing Retreat!' in the group NaNoWriMo
"I'm the leader default leader of our local writers guild. Several members are meeting (plus it's our monthly stated meeting) to help kick off NaNo and be cheerleaders for each other. Good luck Anne!"
3 minutes ago
Melanie Macek joined a group
Thumbnail

NaNoWriMo

For all those who need a support  group for National Novel Writing Month.
3 minutes ago
Emily Lackey commented on the blog post '[The Art of Submission] It's Not You It's Me'
"I am loving all of these stories of rejection followed closely by success! I know these stories, I've heard them myself, but it's always so much more difficult to remember them when you are in the middle of a slump. Thank you, She Writes…"
7 minutes ago

Members

Badge

Loading…

© 2014   Created by Kamy Wicoff.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service