The whole crew appreciates the dedication with which their mother toils on their behalf, I'm sure, but sometimes it doesn't feel like they do, does it? I just had a mom hell-day. Nothing like dealing with firmly entrenched neuroses to put you in a good mood. Look, if you don't want to take out the compost because of the gross-out factor, you just can't do it? . . . .If you take out the moldy compost you-- okay, I agree--you'll get a pie tomorrrow with whipped cream. No, not necessarily a homemade pie. Do I look like a servant to you? YES?! I DRESS like a servant? I do?! WTF. I thought I dressed like a middle-aged hipster of sorts. I DO look like a servant to you? --NO, it's not going to be the kind of whipped cream from a squirt bottle. I like whipped cream without sugar. So come on. Think about the pie and whipped cream. NOW will you take the compost out??? It's too stinky? Oh dear God in heaven. . . .

Okay folks, what do you think dear old mom just pulled herself out of?

a.) a bathtub full of jello shots

b.) a swamp filled with alligators

c.) a terrifying website editing mess that took years off her life

d.) a slump

e.) rehab (snuck over the wall)

f.) the misconception that she knew anything about the publishing industry or being a writer

g.) all of the above

Now for one of my flashback to the 80s videos. I saw Adam Ant at Lehigh University (where I saw Nirvana). He was a really good dancer!

Desperate but not Serious

If I leave this earth without seeing the Stones I'm going to feel like I failed at life.

www.phoebewilcox.com