"I have YA author Heather Reid on my blog today talking about dreams, and you can check out her debut novel, Pretty Dark Nothing. http://kellyhashway.blogspot.com/2013/05/an-interpretation-of-dreams-guest-post.html"
[NETWORKING FOR INTROVERTS] IN REAL LIFE VS ONLINE NETWORKING
Because the title of this series is “Networking for Introverts,” the focus is on social media. Social networking, or online networking, is a style of networking that is popular among introverts because it allows us to blog, tweet, and post status updates from the quiet of our desk chairs and sofas. We don’t need to articulately deliberate over the national deficit while sipping martinis and munching canapés in some stranger’s living room. We can sit in our flannel pajamas, unshowered and with our hair unkempt, and expound on the necessity of m dashes, the pros and cons of self-publishing, and where to buy the best gluten-free cookies. We can share our deepest, darkest secrets with our thousands of “friends” and followers without worrying that they’ll judge us and without stepping foot out of our bunny slippers.
The problem with this scenario? Allison Williams, in response to my last blog post, “Does Social Media Sell Books?," said it best: “Most of us are going at it backward—we're trying to create online connections from scratch and hope they transform into real world connections. Instead, we should be meeting as many people as possible in the real world, and offering them something of value (whether that's friendship, fellowship, or good business advice) so that they look forward to hearing from us online. Nobody wants to buy @jane.x.smith435's book they've never heard of. But when they liked Jane that time they met her at a professional gathering, and she's sent them a couple of articles they're interested in (not by her), and they clicked over twice to her blog and laughed about something she wrote, they might mention to their other friend, 'Hey, this woman I know vaguely just wrote a book that I think you'd like.'"
I couldn’t agree more. As much as I love the comfort, ease, and convenience of social media, it’s no substitute for real-life connections. Spending five minutes talking to someone at a party is worth fifty comments on someone’s blog—and it takes a lot less time. This doesn’t mean you should give up on social media. This means you should use social media, as Williams put it, as your reinforcement, not as your front-line troops. Make a connection in person, then keep in touch with that person—via Twitter, Facebook, or your mailing list—to reinforce that connection.
Here are a few tips to making in-person networking pain-free:
1. Attend events.
Events don’t have to mean huge Animal House-style bashes with 200 people and a keg. They can range from a LitQuake reading to a baseball game to a moms’ nights out. Even kids’ birthday parties are a great way to meet new people. There are always parents there you haven’t met before. Introduce yourself. Make a new friend.
2. Carry business cards.
You never know where you may strike up a conversation with a stranger—on a bus, at the supermarket, in the park while your toddler is in the sandbox. And you never know where you’ll run into a friend who will introduce you to his/her friend. Be sure to include your website and Twitter ID as well as your email address and phone number on your business card. And ask your new acquaintance for a card, too. That way you can initiate follow-up if he/she doesn’t.
3. Don’t think of networking as networking.
The term “networking” has icky connotations. It implies that you’re only interested in getting to know someone for the mutual benefits you can later attain from one another. Think of networking as socializing, as making new friends and meeting new acquaintances. Don’t worry that you can’t be best friends with everyone. There is strength in “weak ties” according to Malcolm Gladwell in The Tipping Point. “Our acquaintances—not our friends—are our greatest source of new ideas and information. The internet lets us exploit the power of these kinds of distant connections with marvelous efficiency.”
Comment
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Comment by B. Lynn Goodwin on October 10, 2012 at 9:56am -
Here's a bit of networking:
Writers need every opportunity they can get. Please share this.
Enter Writer Advice’s New Contest: SCINTILLATING STARTS. Grab and hold us with your opening paragraphs. Deadline is October 15, 2012 & details are at www.writeradvice.com.
If your opening is shared on Writer Advice, you’ll be able to tell prospective agents, publishers, and book buyers that you were one of the winners of Writer Advice’s First Scintillating Starts Contest.
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Comment by Ariel Rosetti on October 7, 2012 at 1:48pm -
Hi,
It took all that I had not to laugh. People are so surprising I never would had thought that she would react in that manner. Well that's life.
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Comment by Meghan Ward on October 7, 2012 at 9:40am -
Ariel - ha! Would have loved to have seen your banker's face!
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Comment by Ariel Rosetti on October 6, 2012 at 12:43pm
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Hi,
I do carry my cards with me and have given them out in a shop I frequent. I had luck there and left a few.
My banker was shocked when I told her that I was published and what type of books I write, the poor woman could barely get her mouth closed. She said that there was a teller, who reads erotic novels, so I did give them to her yesterday.
You give good advice
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Comment by Meghan Ward on October 5, 2012 at 12:31pm
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You're welcome, Liz!
And have fun at the Dad 2.0 Summit, Kenny! I'm hoping to go to BlogHer '13, too. It will be my first bloggers' conference!
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Comment by Kenny Bodanis on October 5, 2012 at 11:55am -
This couldn't have come at a better time. I just (very) reluctantly booked myself into the Dad 2.0 Summit in Houston next January. Hopefully shaking hands with other writers, bloggers, and - fingers crossed - publishers, will be fruitful. This article offers the right amount of encouragement at the right time. Thanks!
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Comment by L. A. Howard on October 5, 2012 at 8:56am -
Awesome advice! :D
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Comment by Meghan Ward on October 4, 2012 at 10:24pm
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Betsy, word of mouth is really all that matters when it comes to selling books - and the more mouths who like your book, the better - whether you meet them in person or online.
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Comment by Meghan Ward on October 4, 2012 at 10:23pm
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Jeane, Good advice - "networking" can be as simple as getting to know the people who work at your local bookstore, your local coffee shop, and your supermarket. Say hello to your barista. Tell him/her your name. And I agree that it's far better to blog to your audience than to blog to other writers. Think about who you want to buy your book and blog to THEM.
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Comment by Meghan Ward on October 4, 2012 at 10:20pm
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Petrea - Excellent points! Think of networking as giving, not receiving.
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