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I once had a neighbor tell me that I would never be complete until I had children. I was yet to know that I wouldn't be able to have them. He had made his comment casually--we were playing chess and odds are, we were drinking, too. It was early in my career as a dancer; and at the time, drinking and chess made me quite happy, so I remember shrugging it off, telling my neighbor he had no idea what he was talking about. I was thoroughly fulfilled!

I don't remember that neighbor's name. I do remember that he beat me, always beat me in chess, and I had learned a long time ago to listen carefully to advice from anyone who could beat me in chess. It meant that said person was able to think further ahead, perhaps more dynamically than myself. (I hadn't yet learned that some people are just good because they memorize plays--if I had, I might have questioned his opinion, rather than giving him credit for his ability to think ahead.) I do remember going home that night and crying--something I didn't do in those days. I was genuinely hurt because I felt no desire to have kids, and yet this man was telling me I wasn't complete until I gave birth.

I'm thirty years old today, and I am childless. Many people accuse me of living as a younger person might--small apartment, three trips each week to the grocery store--but I am beginning to feel my age. And I have to say, I have no desire to have a child. This is not because I'm successful in my career. Far from it. I'm always perplexed by women who say they want to put their career first. I put my family first--my husband, dog and cat. Yet, I don't have any inkling to expand that family, nor do I have any excuse as to why. I just don't want kids.

Now, this might change, but right now it's how I feel. I just wanted to make the statement publicly, just in case there is another woman out there who feels alone in any lack of maternal inclination.

[The image is from an early 90s TV show called "The Dinosaurs" The baby used to say "Not da Mama" repeatedly and bash his father over the head with a frying pan. It was quite the show!]