Tell Your Story Someone Might Hear Your Voice {originally featured on}


Sadie sent me a text yesterday:

“Did you read Dooce’s blog!?”

(Why do we call her Dooce? Her name is Heather! Sheesh!)

I, in straight blog addict fashion, dropped what I was doing and logged on. I began to read her words and they spoke to an achey place I’ve had in my heart. She was announcing her separation from her husband. I’ve been there before. I am still there!  Sadie has been there before too, and it hurts in ways a blog post cannot convey.

“Ew! Why?! Why would someone do that… why would someone put their business out there like that,” a friend once commented to me about bloggers who talk about their personal lives.

I think Heather did what she did, maybe, for the same reason that Cecily talks about the babies she lost, I talk about being married and seperated from an addict, and Liz talks about depression and um, nipple hair.




Telling your story is sometimes the only power you feel like you have.

Telling your story creates a place where you can reflect, mourn, scream, hurt.

Telling your story gets the poison out.

The world is digital and the internet is just another stage to sit down and smoke and drink and perform your beat poetry.  I think women who aren’t afraid to stand up and tell the truth about where their lives are at are like gospel missionaries. They pack up and head into these dark jungles of possible judgement and criticism. They unashamedly proclaim a kind of good news: the good news that you aren’t the only one.

You aren’t the only one who laid on your couch all week watching show after show wondering why you get stuck in the “I hate myself mode”

You aren’t the only one who lost a baby.

You aren’t the only one who has been unhappy in her marriage and really needs to find the strength to leave

You aren’t the only one who sometimes feels perplexed with her body.

You aren’t the only one who wonders if she is a good enough mother.

You aren’t the only one who can’t figure how to speak the same language as your kids.

You aren’t the only one who feels so. much. pressure. about. everything

You aren’t the only one. 

And in that jungle darkness there are some who have sat down because they believe they’ll never find the way out of that dark tangled mess. But then they hear the voice of someone, they grab a hand, or they watch as someone wrestles the vines off of their body. We give hope one to another when we tell our stories. I think that is what the Gospel message of Jesus Christ is about. It is about a theme of isolation and despair turned into a story of community and hope.

So tell your story.

Tell it no matter what.

You never know who will hear your voice in the jungle.


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Comment by Jasmine Banks on March 21, 2012 at 12:29pm

Thanks Joy! I appreciate the feedback!

Comment by Joy Amber on March 20, 2012 at 8:51am

Jasmine, this was great to read and very true.

Carol, I commend you on your commitment to have a healthy and happy life even if that means having to go through hell to get there. I think we as women want to please everyone and forget that it is perfectly o.k. to please ourselves. For that matter, to love ourselves enough to make a change and not feel guilty for it. If you ever need a listening ear, I am here:)


Comment by Jasmine Banks on March 12, 2012 at 5:54am

Thanks for sharing Carol!

Comment by Carol Hand on March 11, 2012 at 9:46pm

It's times like tonight when my ex-husband tries to punish me for leaving and use the kids as a tool by not letting me talk to them when they are at his house that I am more and more determined to air my story. I don't want to do it to hurt him, but because I know I'm not the only one to ever leave an unhealthy marriage. I feel like maybe I can help someone else not make the same mistakes I did, and not put up with the things I put up with for so many years.

I wont blog about it though. I'm going to put some careful thought into writing it in a memoir of sorts. It's on my project list. Right now I am developing something aimed more at teenage girls. I want to reach out to the young ladies still learning concepts of boundaries and healthy relationships. My hope is that maybe I'll inspire some young ladies to develop more self confidence and healthy relationships early on, and not go through what I went through.

Anyhow, I enjoyed this blog post. Writing is good therapy. Telling your story in written form really does get the poison out, and telling your story may inspire someone else to change their life, or maybe just tell their own story.

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