"Thank you Jill for your welcome. I think your children's book on sexual abuse is much needed. I applaud you for writing it. When my son was in Iraq I wrote a children's book to explain war and separation for my…"
The In-Between Time
Yesterday southern California experienced high temperatures that were unusual for this time of year when it should be cool and rainy. Today and this coming week, more of the same blue sky and 75 degrees. I say this not to torture anyone feeling trapped and cold this January of 2011 or to complain. The weather feels great and odd. It will revert to its natural rhythm eventually. Some students and teachers will come to school sick. This is the usual pattern.
It feels like an in-between time, like that in-between the dark time and the light time, the time between the solstice and the equinox, between deepest night and flowering dawn. This is an unsettling time when it seems the worst (or best) could happen. The signs are all there, in the uncommon light, the strange heat that keeps my body on the edge of sleep all night, and the loss of stillness I felt at Christmastime in Wisconsin. I broke down and cried over events in Tucson and later over the new tasks, new students, and new financial stressors this year has brought.
This time is special, too, because I have just begun a new treatment to help heal my gut. (You: Great! Me: Yes, great, and scary.) I don't know what will happen and instead am moving forward and observing like any good detached scientist. I like this way. The old fears of returning pain and frustration of 2010 and prior years creep up here and there. I shoo them away.
In the whirlwind of new concerns and responsibilities this year, I am carving out space in the day for the in-between time, that time of rest and of faith. Change is coming. My eyes are open.
Do you have an in-between time?
© 2011 Marjorie A. Robertson
All Rights Reserved
Comment
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Comment by Marjorie Robertson on January 26, 2011 at 2:12pm -
Thanks, Angela.
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Comment by Angela Christine Ragosa on January 26, 2011 at 12:26pm -
Thank you Marjorie for sharing this beautifully written post.
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Comment by Marjorie Robertson on January 22, 2011 at 11:36am
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Here are some thoughts from my friend, Gary Jones, about the in-between time:
Fact is, probably most people don't notice the "in-between times". Our society is so hyped on getting to the goal, the goodies. The concept of contentment when nothing seems to be happening, of appreciation for allowing the field to lay fallow, just ain't part of the program. Everybody wants their stuff instantly. I'm sure we lose great benefits of the experience when we attempt to race through our days.
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Comment by Marjorie Robertson on January 16, 2011 at 9:58pm
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@Cathy--we are always re-learning things we learned when were 23, 29, 33... (I'm 44) and learning to live with good enough and feeling like an outsider. Maybe rest and faith are for all times.
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Comment by Cathy Kozak on January 16, 2011 at 11:42am -
Yes Marjorie I am in between, always in between it seems, like the 'ugly duckling' who's really a swan but doesn't remember! And I'm middle age and any day now will be a grandmother for the first time! If only like my photo here I could dance away the worry...
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Comment by Marjorie Robertson on January 16, 2011 at 10:36am
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@Samantha--nicely put. Thanks for the comment and the well wishes. Looking forward to seeing your book:)
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Comment by Samantha Sotto Yambao on January 16, 2011 at 6:31am -
Wishing you a speedy recovery, Marjorie!
As for in-between time, I think you've just described exactly where I am now. I think I'm finally making peace with the anxiety that comes with releasing a book. I realize that the fear will never go away, but I'm learning that it's up to me to use it the right way. :)
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