I was seventeen the last time I cared that a new year was approaching. I was at the height of my stressful months on the final school year before college. I was too stressed to even study, and I needed to get my mind off everything. I had a wild party with my friends and we sprayed each other with everything sprayable. 

 

Today I find myself thinking of the year that passed and I can’t help smiling. I don’t recall any year more dramatic than this one, because a life normally changes gradually, but my life changed almost with a switch of a button. It was like a literal closing of a book, placing it on a table, and picking a brand new fresh book, with a glossy cover, and opening it with curiosity. 

 

2010 marked the ending of a way of life I’d had for as long as I can remember. I lost people who were a part of my existence. Some were the frame that defined my life, my priorities, what I did, what I cared for, and some changed me in ways for which I will forever be grateful, shattering the ground underneath my feet and awakening the wild, crazy part in me. And I met new people I never thought would have so much impact on me. I ventured into new domains, I saw new horizons, and for the first time in my life I began to free myself of me. I decided to look in the mirror of my mind and ask myself for once who I was, or who I thought I was. I didn’t like the answer because something inside told me that it’s not really what I wanted. So I closed my eyes, blocked my nose, I dove into the sea of the unknown. I loved the cold splash and the separation from reality the sound of silence under the water gave me. I emerged feeling so fresh, so new, so washed. I was again in touch with the six year-old who had unlimited dreams of what she wanted to be. I had really, really missed her.

 

2010 was a year of grave loss and incredible gain. My emotions barged on a bumpy ride. I had the saddest moments of my life, and I was comforted with the divine hand that led me on a new path, giving me the most exhilarating experiences of my life.

 

I am grateful. And I won’t wait for tomorrow; I will surprise it!

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Tags: 2010, 2011, change, new, reflection, remembering, year

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Comment by Arwa Salah Mahmoud on January 1, 2011 at 7:31am
Thanks a lot Marwa!
Comment by Marwa Elnaggar on January 1, 2011 at 7:25am
I wish you could get on that plane, Cathy. It would be great to have you here. Arwa, as I said before, this is a beautiful post.
Comment by Arwa Salah Mahmoud on January 1, 2011 at 4:06am
You're more than welcome! :)
Comment by Arwa Salah Mahmoud on December 31, 2010 at 4:10pm
Happy new year Cathy! I wish I could speak more openly about those people. Maybe when we meet? ;)

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