The Other Soul Mate

"And they lived happily ever after" I finished the story for Driti.

"That means they never cried?" she asked me.

"Well that means, they took care of each other and were always there to support each other"

She did not understand what I said,and writing this down, I see how confusing my answer was too. But there were a lot of follow up questions and one thing led to another and she asked me what 'Soul mate' was. I kissed her good night, promising to answer her in the morning, but it really got me thinking.

Now you know what a soul mate is right? It's such a heavily loaded and over hyped term that you are given into believing that you're cheating if you find more than one. Ok, before you judge me: everybody needs a soul mate - especially if you're from the fairer sex -and most often, you need one of your own gender too, to rant - so there's a wavelength match. What is your husband going to understand about Sex and the City? He may as well be sitting and playing video games in the chair next to yours - there he's already asleep.

Women are much more emotionally deep - they're thinkers, worriers, list makers, and if that doesn't win the argument, everybody knows that women are epitomes of both strong and delicate beings. Ok, you show me one guy who's actually got a kid out of a tiny opening in his body and is also scared of the spider. Go on, show me.

I love my husband, and if I've written anywhere else to the contradictory, this trumps. But I just need to get it out of my system sometimes. I do need someone to yap incessantly to, about something that's bothering me and get a response that's not, "Hmm" or "Yeah", with half an eye on the cricket score. I mean I need somebody who's also vehemently opposed to all those things I really hate.

Women need to be heard, we don't need your advice, hell we don't need anyone's advice - we make our own decisions and more likely not learn from the mistakes - but we want to hear you support.We need to hear that we're right in cribbing, in whining over the injustice meted upon us and we need a person who passionately agrees with us. And this person, cannot be a man. Men are always opinionated. And if they agree with something, we know it's because they want dinner soon or we're standing between their cricket or soccer or whatever replay of whatever ridiculous sport. This person is a she and comes from our own brood. She comes with all the qualifications of being a 'soul-mate' - of being a patient listener, a sounding board, a strong defendant, a blind believer of all your choices, and your biggest advocate. If you're a man, you're lucky - you just have one soul mate and I hope to God you've found her. If you're a woman, married to a guy, you have to have more than one - that's just the way it's meant to be.

If I've not said this enough, to all my girlfriends - thank you - for being my sounding board - for blindly believing in my decisions even though you knew they were stupid - for standing by me only because you believe in woman's rights and I happen to be one. Thank you for not covering your ears when I screamed around you, for covering your ears when I yelled - at you. If I've ever cribbed or whined to you, which in all likelihood I may have, thank you for listening. Thank you for being a perfect woman!

Tags: mate, men, soul, soul-mates, soulmates, women

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Comment by Padmaja Singh on January 25, 2013 at 11:21pm: Thank you Wynnie! Really like your thoughts. I'm so glad you liked it!

Comment by Wynnie on January 25, 2013 at 11:15pm: I've read that you can have as many as 12 soulmates in each incarnation. Twin souls or twin flames are the ones you can only have one of and that can be difficult too, if you happen to incarnate at different "times" and are different age groups. But all soul "family" members are meant to be helpers, to help you learn about yourself.

I really like your idea of a female soul mate to just be "patient listener, a sounding board, a strong defendant, a blind believer of all your choices, and your biggest advocate" -- I'd like one too. I have a few friends who are very close to that, so I feel very lucky. I, too, have a husband of many years who I consider a "karmic" soulmate, as we are working through a lot of stuff.

I really enjoyed your article.

Wynnie