Uncle Edward is my mother’s younger brother; she and Grandma always give him digs. He is much too cheeky--- always playing tricks. I am too young to know that he also is a gambler--- likes the ponies. He is considered a bachelor ne’er do well by the adults of the family. To me, he is a favorite uncle--- always full of fun; we have not seen him for a while. He arrives for an unexpected visit one day when I am nearly four.
If there is one thing he likes to do best for entertainment, it is to torment his older sister. He always finds a way to do that and I love it. It is a warm, sunny Spring day--- warm enough to have the windows wide open. The storm windows have been removed but the summer screens that keep out the flies and mosquitoes are not yet installed. Mother is in the back yard putting the washing on the clothesline. Hanging things out to dry, gives Uncle Edward an idea. He engages me in a conspiracy to annoy her. He hangs me out the window at the side of our house, holding me firmly under my armpits with his strong hands while my legs dangle about three feet from the ground while he hollers, “Nancy! Nancy!” as if there is some major calamity while I kick and scream: “Let me down! Let me down!”
Mother drops her wet towels and clothes pegs into the laundry basket and comes running from the back yard to see what the commotion is all about. “Stop that! Stop that!,” she shrieks as she reaches both arms up to rescue me.
Once she puts me safely on the ground, I scurry as fast as I can back into the house. The back door slams shut as I head up the stairs through the kitchen and into the room where Uncle Edward is waiting for me to do it all over again. Her madcap brother waits for Mother to go back to her task of pegging wet clothes on the line before he puts me out the window once more. We repeat this over and over; Mother’s annoyance rises to a fever pitch before we stop this fun game. She understandably wants to get on with the work she has to do, but I want to keep it up forever. Mother is obviously very annoyed, but I know it is my Uncle Edward’s fault. Can I help it if he keeps hanging me out the window to dry? He won’t let me fall and I know I am safe from punishment. I love tormenting my mother when it is Uncle Edward’s fault.
Our fun and games come to an abrupt halt, but Uncle Edward promises to bring me a new dress when he comes home from the ponies that night. I wake up the following morning and jump out of bed with anticipation, but I can’t find Uncle Edward, He is gone and there is no new dress in sight; I don’t ask Mother if he left me a parcel. I am aware that he did not deliver; Uncle Edward is a disappointment. I know nothing about the ponies except that I have seen them in the circus and a man sometimes brings one to the front door and asks if Mother wants a picture taken of her children sitting on it.
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lead me not into temptation; i can find it myself: Grandma Goes Online by K.C Konrad