For as long as I can remember, I have believed in the existence of signs from loved ones who have passed away. Certainly on a cerebral level, but much more so on an emotional and spiritual level. Maybe it is because I do believe in messages from those who have exited this life that I am blessed enough to experience them fairly often. I can almost sense the energy when I become aware of a sign, like the feeling of goose bumps as they rush up your spine. These messages can come in all shapes and forms through our five senses, but typically via auditory, visual, or tactile means, or in any combination at once. Of course when they do occur, often I feel I am imagining things, or constructing in my brain that which I ache to experience: the ultimate form of magical thinking. I mean, if you consider signs on a purely logical level, it sounds implausible that the spirit of a deceased person can create enough energy to cause a tangible effect …what law of physics does that fall into anyway? Now, the multidimensional signs are the really hard ones to wrap your head around, or to flat out deny, if you have the tendency to do so. What I feel is most crucial is that the more open we are to receiving signs, the increased likelihood that they will manifest. These occurrences are much less rare than what we acknowledge or our awareness allows, and every once in a while we have the pleasure of an ‘ah-ha’ moment, when we absorb into ourselves that which was revealed to us, a blessed and unique symbolic event in material form. Yes, an event that shows us, if we have faith, that our loved ones live on, that they are with us every step of the way, that all energy is one. That they’ve never really gone anywhere.
What further intrigued me is that I had been contemplating writing a blog about this whole subject matter for a few months, and then suddenly my publicist approached me about reviewing a book titled The Reason, an autobiography by author Sally Grablick, which reads in sort like a grief journal. It is about a mother who details and explores her very personal experiences in receiving signs from her nineteen-year-old son who had tragically ended his life. Ms. Grablick candidly shares with her readers her immeasurable loss, and how messages by her son from the other side gave her enormous hope, a feeling of continued connection to him on both an affective and spiritual level, something to grasp onto during her deepest hours of despair. So, the question for me is: does this coincidence of receiving a book to review about signs from deceased loved ones as I was contemplating blogging about signs, a sign in itself? Hmm, you know what they say about coincidences …
It gives me pause when I think of the individuals I have been closest to in my life, these are the ones that I have been most conscious of getting messages from over the years; a very dear friend, then my father, and now most recently my mother. Often times I seem to pick up signs/messages while I am asleep, such as I had experienced and documented in my first novel, The Resurrection of Hannah. Well, a few months after my father died he appeared to be revealing messages to me in my dreams. This was most unexpected because of his religious beliefs, upbringing and lifestyle: a moderately conservative person but a seemingly progressive Reverend, or maybe it was the other way around. With my father it was hard at times to know where he stood, a sort of ‘the chicken or the egg’ syndrome. Anyway, I ended up having a sequence of three dreams starting a few months after he passed, which occurred within a relatively short period of time. In these dreams we were talking about him dying, with him conveying to me that he was indeed okay, without pain, was happy and had moved on into another life. I got to touch and experience him in these dreams, he even had me read a sermon he had written when alive, like an attempt to provide evidence that it was indeed he, but most precious to me was when my dad gave me a big bear hug, like he had done so often. I could hear, smell and feel him, his course whiskers against my cheek carved into my memory. I will always cherish these dreams as they were bristling with life, the joy of encountering my father again: boundless.
Family members flew back to Florida later on the same day of his death. As my sister and I sat beside each other on the plane, she prayed aloud for a sign from our father that he was still with us. A minute later we observed a fleeting straight rainbow right outside the airplane window, 30,000 feet up in the air. It was so strange, sunny with not a cloud or rain in sight. The rainbow was vertical, not the universal arc shape, something I had never seen before, and it disappeared within ten seconds. From then on out, I observed three more rainbows within about two months-my favorite, a double rainbow that stretched clear across the sky. These usually happened after I prayed for a message from my father, or when I was feeling especially vulnerable or most weighed down by grief. What really blew me away and deeply touched my heart was a birthday card I received eight months after his death, the first birthday of my life without my dad. My stepmother sent me a birthday card, and when I opened it, I was staring at a beautiful card addressed to “My Daughter” with a rainbow splashed across the front. Inside my stepmother simply wrote, “From your dad and Joan.” She later told me that my father had picked this card out during one of their shopping trips, and she had sent it to me in his honor.
I have had equally dramatic signs from my mother, which started two days after she died. The messages spanned a brief couple of weeks, and unfortunately I haven’t picked up on any since. I have noticed that signs appear to come in spurts or phases, maybe when we most need them. Perhaps before or between whatever work our loved ones become absorbed in wherever they are, able somehow to touch bases occasionally to let us know they are watching over us, that we are joined together through love, an unbreakable bond. I think of the timing of these unique connections as “seasons of signs”, a wondrously personal display of energy and light that can’t be measured or weighed or analyzed according to our very limited, human level of understanding, but rather, something we take in through faith, not by scientific calculation. Life is one big exquisite mystery, and I believe, as most do, that someday our questions will be rightly answered. Probably not in our time, but after we have left this earth, when we continue on in our spiritual quest, when we can grasp the true depth and breadth of our existence, to return to a breathtaking life beyond our wildest imaginings. In summation, I offer a quote penned by Shakespeare in Hamlet, “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”