You just edited me didn't you?
I did the same thing each morning I walked into the computer lab in which I helped the upcoming generation navigate the dangers of the Internet and the vagaries of Microsoft Word. Those Apple Think Different posters hung on the walls of my room and every single day I silently thought, "Think Different-ly." I really thought it would make as much sense if it were grammatically correct. This was years ago when I worked in an elementary school and my ambitions to be A Writer were wedged around being a single parent, staying gainfully employed and putting gas in the car. I think (I hope) I still have most of these posters tightly, safely rolled up in a cardboard tube somewhere. Thomas Edison, Pablo Picasso and Amelia Earhart, among others, stared at me every day, daring me to do what I was expecting of my students; to push past my comfort zone. Think differently. Become what I kept telling everyone I wanted to be. A Writer.
I don't think most of my students even knew who those people were, watching over them as they learned about key words and created and saved a document. Maybe they knew Kermit, sitting on the shoulder of Jim Henson, but not many of the others. I wanted them to think differently and I thought putting up the posters would inspire them. I imagined these young students testing their boundaries, trying new things. I don't know if it happened; it was an elementary school and we were often stuck simply creating a word processing document of their latest spelling words.
But I think about those faces watching us, me evolve during the years when I had no idea what I was doing. Becoming a writer was pushed aside as I went back to school instead and tested a career in education. I liked it, but there was always something missing. Until I somehow I managed to put a book together and get it published. Finally I was, in a word, an author. I feel like I know what the looks on those faces mean now. The look on all of those faces was the look of someone who was doing what they knew they should be doing. Of course they all achieved some sort of fame or recognition for their work (hence the close-up on the posters), but I suspect they would do their work anyway. And once they began, there was no way they could stop.
I think a little bit of that is happening to me these days. I am thinking differently about myself as a writer and an author. I became aware of it witnessing the latest She Writes Press authors launch their books. The new SWP authors are all over Facebook with their excited posts, tweeting their next events and worrying over publicists and book jackets. I was happy to discover that I wasn't jealous or envious of them. (You know, mostly.) I wish there was a word that means "I'm really happy for you, and I wish some of that stuff was happening to me." Their excitement is motivating me rather than threatening me. How about that? I am motivated to work on my next book and then the next one. Two books in the works for me right now. Books I can't wait to work on every day when I wake up in the morning. I am a writer and I am starting to act like one.
It's just thinking differently, that's all.