It is sad that just coming up with a title had me stumped but it also proved that I am where I need to be ~ where I have longed to be for a while now: with a group of supportive women.   I had forgotten what a difference it makes ...and hadn't realized how long it had been since I had been in this type of environment.   The last time had me smack-dab in a critique group ~ something I relished at the time ~ but after several opinions (all of them differing) and endless rewrites, I lost something valuable: my voice.  I didn't even know myself anymore let alone what I sound like or had/wanted to say ~ so I went quiet.  Or that seems the best way to describe it.  I stopped writing.  In fact, I couldn't even look at anything of mine and see anything of value - I still stumble in this area.  Even now as I type this my inner critic is on overdrive: is that the word you wanted, did you put that sentence together as well as you could have, is the tense off...*did you hear the scream?* lol!

 

So this is where I am ~ the dream won't die...and why should it considering it has been a part of me since...well forever! (I can't remember a time when it wasn't)  It is long-past time to either step up, own it and make it a reality or silence it forever. (interesting...forever came up twice - and I'm going to leave it because I'm working on "just leaving it"/detaching - to stop second-guessing everything I do and say and to just "be" and let it be enough - that doesn't mean I won't edit, I want the best to shine through but I want to stop blocking that from happening because I'm too busy sitting stalled in doubt.) 

 

That said: does this count toward my daily word count? lmao!  It at least got me writing again and that's a bonus!  :) 

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Comment by Autumn on September 27, 2011 at 6:01pm
That's very true, Bridget ~ I was with this group for a while but still never knew what was going to come up and I would read some of the comments and know right away: ok that is one I can set aside but with some others...well it wasn't as easy and then it got to the point where I just gave up: on the piece and myself because I couldn't put anything on the page that felt right to me. I want to get past that and just write! Thanks for your comment, I agree, and appreciate your words.
Comment by Bridget Straub on September 27, 2011 at 4:08pm
The problem with critiques is that you have to take them with a grain of salt and that's hard to do.

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