Words of Wisdom

You can not stray too far these days without bumping into the old neurotic grandparent mumbling about the ‘state of the economy’, the middle classed parents grasping onto the hope for their little angels to ‘find the perfect job’ amongst the recession or the stereotypical student who claims they are fully immersed into adult life when ‘studying’ at uni. But these three generations all stand from a very different looking glass with very little crossover of understanding between one another. The reality is......we are the fucked up generation.

 The stereotypical student claims they are living the hard life under the pressures of University but one has to question nowadays, what is the English university structured for exactly? I hear the familiar stories of repetitive ‘vomming’ or even better ‘tactical vomming’ from a ‘cheap’ student night out where the goal aim is to socialize around binge drinking. Games are formed around the mass binge drinking culture and the King is crowned when he can sustain the highest consumption of cheap alcohol in his system without reaching hospital or being arrested. To much of the University students amusement, it is now popular to end up in hospital or a police cell. Haven’t we all overheard the ‘cool kids’ talking about the time they had their stomach pumped. My gosh don’t they make Mummy and Daddy proud.
Its  begs to wonder, do Mummy and Daddy play blissfully ignorant to this routine standard behaviour at University, for which many, parents are funding their children to indulge in. Or have we reached a more shameful stage in society where parents are informed on their children’s expeditions and join in on the ‘banter’ to win their children’s acceptance at being ‘cool’ to.
I am sure MR Cameron with all of his worldly knowledge of ‘the real world’ is over the moon with his encouragement into leading the mass into attending University. Round up the sheep and heard them in. Give them the loans, throw money at these kids, challenge them with drinking games from the University SU’s. God forbid we give them any structure, sports or recreational programmes that are accessible to the mass. Get them drunk, let them fail University only to resist again and again whilst we correct our money issues, then we’ll cut them off with a sharp knife and let them fall off the cliff into the ocean that is our jobs seekers.

Now only the rich rah rah kids can attend University. As a wise man once said to me, the real rich, the elite, (none of this new money nonsense) can do no wrong. No matter the level of stupidity, they can do no wrong as there lie no slip ups in the world of the rah’s. Lucky for them.
But what happens to the rest of us. We followed the sheep heard into University without questioning where the other life paths where or did they even exist? We obtained a degree which is about a common as reality tv programme now. For those kids who went to University for the ‘life style’, God help them. They believe they have achieved their independence through living away from home. Living away from home yes but with a fake income that they rarely earn themselves, coming at them in the forms of loans. Maybe a handful have a part time job if they are  real troopers. Let’s be real here for a moment, how many University students do you know who can organize their money and prioritize food shopping in order to cook healthy meals. They eat out and go for casual drinks when they aren’t ‘out on the lash’. They live the life of bloody riley whilst their parents are slaving away in the real world talking about how little Charlie is doing so well at University.
Jamie Oliver would not be best pleased with University student. I thought they were meant to be intellectuals. Surely they should have the knowledge that eating fast food and ready meals is going to kill a few brain cells, add a few probability chances of catching cancer and killing their brain power. If only these clever little blossom buds were to question the reality of their existence and the realities of University, is it really worth it?

If they did ever dare to open a book they might realize the drinking age is 21 years in America due to the Kidneys only reaching their full growth at 21years. Well done Mr Cameron, encourage the students to drink away their youth with cheap alcohol and SU campaigns, that way they will die younger and the pension crisis will be solved.
Whilst we are discussing the  ‘opening  of a book’; The second biggest boast from these little clever clogs after their special drinking powers comes the boast of the lack of work they can pass University with. Listening to them brag about achieving a 2.1 for never reading a book whilst studying English Literature, not something one should be writing home about.

I feel sorry for those students who actually work their assess off, struggle to get by, take on a part time job because at the end of it, we’re all just University students with a degree.
So when you are a parent giving you child worldly advice, be a goat, don’t be a sheep.