It takes one person to save another's life. Listen. Pick up the phone. Show them that they are loved.

 

You Make Me Feel Less Alone

 

His hands are smooth,  

uncalloused,

as they touch my skin.

At the beginning of each

of my phalanges

lay thick calluses.

My thumbs,

and sometimes index fingers,

are torn up

and bleed from picking.

I can’t stop.

I’ve tried so many times.

I’ve thought of him

and pleaded with my mind

to stop.

I’ve tried.  

 

His arms are free of scars,

so strong.

I look at mine and am ashamed.

Reminders of cold bathroom floor,

mixing with the flame of a lighter.

So many sleepless nights.

So many days of curtains drawn.

So many panic attacks taking over me.

I’ve tried to be calm.

I’ve tried.

I’ve tried. 

 

No one seems to understand

how it feels to think

that you are alone.

But when his hand brushes mine,

breathing ceases

and I am not thinking

of how I can make it stop.

It culminates and I am fine.

Nothing matters

except simply being.

 

He has made me promise

to not burn myself.

To stop

inflicting pain.

I promised.

And I will

keep my promise.

Because he’s worth it.

Because I’m scared

to say I love him.

To tell him

he deserves someone

who is well.

To tell him,

“You make me

feel less alone.”

 

Views: 62

Tags: Anxiety, Burning, Disorder, Love, People, Picking, Suicide, Writing

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Comment by Nicole Easterwood on August 17, 2011 at 7:35pm

Thanks Melissa! Hope you are well.

Comment by Ms. Reality Space on August 17, 2011 at 4:42am

Hi Nicole... I just happened to click on your picture in the members area... it caught my eye.  I know an all-encompassing loneliness, perhaps even more so when with others.  Thank you for sharing this...

Melissa

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