...houses. I kept in character and went along a few times until a simple burglary turned into a violent homeinv...ter and went along a few times, but last night things changed, a simpleburglary turned into a violent home in...
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Hmm... this is well written. But it is probably too long, and feels more like a synopsis than a query.
I would first try bringing the brother's burglary story line up closer to the "hi...
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