A Stranger In The Mirror
Contributor
Written by
Contributor
Written by
If I could hide myself, from myself
And believe in my fictitious self.
Do I become a protagonist and save the planet,
Or an antagonist and destroy dear Janet?
If I could reflect my true self on the mirror,
Would I feel like the flowing river?
Or do I hold myself too hard in fear of revealing my darkness?
Or just let it all burst out like a volcano who'd overslept?
Now that all have been unveiled.
And my vision cleared, I can see the wreck on that train.
How do I hide myself from me?
Because I am drowning in the depth of this new reveal.
How do I see myself, eye to eye?
I wish they'd just be blind.
Because all I see is a stranger in the mirror.
Trying to find her way back from the darkness forever.
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Well I think you need to rewrite it in the same style as the other stanzas or rework the current one because 4th stanza has the "But now" which compares it to something. I like the contrasting style of the 3rd stanza, the rhythm reminds me of a poem I wrote in high school. I think the words and ideas that are more trite and forced are "broken rings," "deafness," and "blindness" even though the other ones are often used as well. Your poem has a strong voice so keep working on it.
Hi Ling, thank you for reading the poem ^_^ I will remove the middle stanza then?
The rhymes caught my attention, but the self reflection propelled me to read from beginning to end. I like this poem but I think you could do without the middle stanza which seems trite and forced.