What comparison looks like

For many writers I know, starting a new project begins with endless enthusiasm. Then somewhere along the way, you start to notice they are doing things differently. Your passion for the project fades as you spend more of your energy comparing yourself to other writers than on your own writing. What to do?

Do you give up and move on to something else? Or do you push through, despite not having the fire you once did?

What if I told you there is another option?

Why we compare

First we have to understand why we compare ourselves to others. Writing isn’t just about being creative. In fact, although many writers think of themselves as being primarily right-brained, language and writing are left-brain skills. Did I just blow your mind?

It’s how these sides work together that creates a book, and it’s also why we fall into the comparison trap. See—the planning part tells us we should know what’s going on out there—it will help us learn new skills and become better writers. And that’s true.

But the same part of your mind that brings the creativity also brings the insecurity—the right side of the brain is predisposed to a focus on negative emotions. So, what starts as an innocent fact-finding mission can quickly turn into self-criticism.

So what’s this other option?

The other option—not giving up or turning it into drudgery—is to accept that these feelings are a normal part of the creative process. Every writer deals with it. And how you learn to deal with it may make the difference between finishing that project or not.

That makes it all better, right? Just kidding. Here are some baby steps to help you through dealing with comparison and self-criticism.

Don’t fight it

The best way to get going is to befriend your urge to compare. Acknowledge that the comparison, the criticism, and the jealousy are all part of your process. See them as a signpost that tells you you’re on the right path to something that matters to you, something you want to do well.

Remember why you started this

Think back to when you initially felt all that enthusiasm. Let yourself feel it again. This does more than just psych you up. It allows your brain to strengthen the neural pathways you created when you felt that passion the first time. Every time you do that, it makes it easier to get back on track the next time.

Refocus on your goals

Other writers’ success has nothing to do with yours. That’s hard to really understand and even harder to feel. Instead of disparaging your writing for not being as successful as others, take some time to refocus on what you hope to gain through your writing. What are your goals for this project? What’s stopping you from meeting them?

Use both sides of your brain

Because writing is about both creativity and skill, it’s always going to mean balancing the different parts of you. Remember that balance doesn’t mean equal. It means finding a way for these parts to live in harmony. Your creative side may always rebel against the more rational side, and that’s okay. The sooner you make them play nice, the more fulfilling you’ll find your writing career.

How do you deal with comparing your writing to others’? Leave me a comment or tweet me @jenichappelle

This post was originally published at www.jenichappelle.com