Writing for Life in the Face of Death
Contributor

This Saturday morning is dawning shrouded in fog. Yesterday evening, Friday, the 13th of June, just past the full moon, Death came walking down the hall in her gown of violet velvet and cowl of carmine silk and stopped in across the hall at B's to take B away, across The River. B's daughter and son were with her, in addition to a hospice nurse, and for them I am grateful. My gentle kind friend was not alone. I wave good-bye to her through the fog rising over the water.

Later last night before bedtime, I thought about how a nurse immediately laid my husband out after he died so that his body was not folded up when rigor mortis set in. I worried that someone who did not know about laying out had been with B, so I called a neighbor who had seen B after she died. I asked her if someone had taken care to lay B out. She assured me that the nurse had been there when B died and had done that. I was glad to know that as I went off to sleep.

Earlier this week I went over to talk to B, and I could tell she was not fully comprehending what I was saying. I was getting ready to scramble an egg for my lunch and asked her if she would like for me to hard boil an egg for her. She made those for herself. We had laughed recently about the incident of her egg, which she left on the stove boiling away. The water evaporated and the egg "boiled" on and finally exploded. When I went in to visit that day, the maintenance man was there cleaning the egg off the ceiling and kitchen counter! She and I had a good laugh about her egg. But this week I realized that she wouldn't be able to eat an egg or anything else. She was through eating. When I reminded her of the exploded egg, in an effort to laugh with her again, she wanted to talk about preferring natural eggs to colored ones, somehow connecting hard boiled egg to Easter eggs. She said she wasn't doing well and she was "tired of this game." I said I certainly understood that feeling. I held her cold hand and told her I loved her.

When I saw her son yesterday afternoon, he said the nurse said B would be gone in under three days. I know from my own experience with Hospice when my husband was dying that they know the signs of death approaching. And so her son was somewhat surprised when she went on out so quickly. But B was ready to depart and seemed not at all afraid to do so. She was more than ready to get on with her crossing. And now she is at peace.

Let's be friends

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Comments
  • Susan Hoyle

    Such a sensitive, interesting post, Diane. Thank you!