• Rebecca Lane Beittel
  • Read two chapters and call me in the morning. (If genres were medical specialties)
Read two chapters and call me in the morning. (If genres were medical specialties)

My husband is a doctor.  I'm a writer.  I decided to mash-up these two professions today.  Hope you enjoy.

Sleeping pills? No, don't have any of those. But I do have a law textbook in here; that should do the trick.

If genres were like medical specialties:

Then Literary fiction writers are the general practitioners of the bunch: the family doctors, the internal medicine doctors, the OB/GYNs - they're cross-trained in everything, and usually claim all genres as their own, unless it gets a little too hard-core, and then they farm it out to the "genres" - see below:

YA/Middle Grade/Childrens = pediatricians, obviously, but also pediatric surgeons/endocrinologists/neurologists, etc.  You get the idea - every thing the "big" guys write, but with lollipops.

Science fiction writers are the geneticists, robotic-assisted surgeons, and pretty much all the docs who work at the CDC and wear those scary yellow haz-mat suits and fishbowl helmets

Romance fiction writers are the psychologists (specifically sex therapists and couples counselors), but they date all the other genres and very politely ask to borrow their scalpels and bandages upon occasion.

Mystery fiction writers are the diagnosticians (think "House") - they more complicated the case, the better, but don't rush them, and don't read ahead, or you'll negatively affect the outcome of the treatment.

Western fiction writers are the old country doctors who still make house calls, deliver everybody's babies, don't offer Novocaine with their sutures, and keep a bottle of Jack in their desk drawer.

Fantasy writers are the alternative medicine gurus - the herbalists, the acupuncturists, the massage therapists.  Well, some of them are.  Others are the healers from the middle ages, who preferred leeches, tinctures, potions, and (if they were lucky enough to also be witches) magical spells.

Adventure/Espionage/Military genre writers are the "doctors without borders" doctors - the ones who don't care how often they change their underwear, how many coconut milk IVs they have to Jerry-rig, and can remove bullets from their own flesh, pour a little tequila on it and suture it with their own hair.

I know I've left out some genres, but I didn't feel up to comparing Erotica writers to proctologists and Horror writers to pathologists and medical examiners.  So if any of you would like to add a few in the comment section, it wouldn't hurt my feelings.


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