Two-thirds of what I write ends up in the round file, but the remaining third is where I find the gems. Why do I have to do all that writing to get to the gems? Well, I just can't be creative and inspired around the clock. When I am inspired, I scramble for a tablet and a pencil, even when I'm out running errands. Other times, the muse is out and I have to force myself to just sit down and write just to write. I see the first two-thirds as a messy warm up. When I look back at it, I often think the following:

"Look at this rambling mess. It's simply my feelings puked out on paper. I don't have anything to offer here."

"Where's the focus? Where's the crispiness? Where are those impact words and sentences that make it stand out?"

Then I look at the last third, and I start to see the focus and the power. Never mind crispiness, it all starts with an idea, which can then be shaped, focused, and made crispy. I know I'm not going to have a polished finished product over night. As a matter of fact, I am beginning to see the value of having patience with myself and my writing. I'm finding the value in taking my time to flesh out my ideas because I see that through the writing process, and the pauses to reflect on what it is I'm writing, I'm becoming more focused and finding a more concrete direction. My spiritual life has helped me shape and evolve my writing. I have some reservations, but I feel God nudging me to not give up.Today's church service helped firm that up.

In service today, the pastor was talking about how sometimes we get frustrated that some of our friends or loved ones don't see how much God loves us, that they don't see and feel what we feel. He continued on to say that God hasn't given up on them, and neither should we. God doesn't view time in the same way we do. We view time as hours and days, and He views it as eternity. He also talked about having more patience with those around us, and let God do His work in their lives.

I really liked this message, and I'd like to add to it by saying that we shouldn't give up on ourselves, and we should be more patient with ourselves. God hasn't given up on me, and as stubborn as I am, he will always love me, be patient, and never give up on me. Because I know it and feel it, I wont give up on me either, and I pray that I can be more patient with myself.

Back to the first two-thirds... even though it's messy now, I'm going to be patient and not give up on myself. If I keep writing through first two-thirds to get to the last third of gems, one of these days I'm going to start seeing gems in the first two-thirds.