I don't like the idea of writing myself...bear with me.

I read a comment, somewhere, made by another aspiring writer that described the story she was currently working on. There were two characters, one male, one female, and the female of the couple was based on the writer herself. I am not a fan of this kind of characterization, it's a bit to Sue for me.

I know that the whole idea is to learn about oneself though such writing, you know, examine the situation from a safe distance and all. Cathartic writing, self discovery, molesting the inner child. I'd much rather listen to a scratched up record of cats mating with the volume at 11.

I don't like the idea of basing a character around oneself, how can you really? How can you realistically step away from your ideal of yourself, be it a good or bad, and honestly write yourself as an organic, growth worthy character?  You can't! No one can! It's not in us to do so. 

Most stories that I read where this has been done are very forced, flat, and full of wish fulfillment. They re-tell events in the author's life in a way the author wanted it to go. Don't get me wrong, I understand the desire to have control like that. I get why someone would re-write their lives, but I don't get why you'd want to share it with people. Or even, if you feel that your life really is that remarkable, just write an Autobiography. Don't try to sugar coat things, or vinegar coat things, in a fictional way. 

In fanfic it's called Mary-Sue. It's framing things in a way that could have been, and perhaps its a bit of escapism. I feel like people who do this, sacrifice plot and story in order to demonstrate how they are a human and deserve to be the center of attention. They make their character more important than anything else in the story, and then there is no story. 

Characters should be free of real world ties, because characters need to do things. They need to grow and change. They need to do bad things that we would be ashamed of, they need to do amazing things that we can't. They need to swear and bleed and live and die and betray and trust and love and hate. The need to do the things that make them larger then life so that others will care about them, and more importantly they need to take a back seat and let the story be told.

We can't do that with ourselves. We are the most important thing in our lives, we can't take a backseat to something else. 

So this is why I won't write myself into a story, I won't base a character on myself. Frankly, I am not that interesting and honestly, the others aren't either. So I will spare you all my mental masturbation, and focus on the story and a character that can die.