Writing to Live. Living to Die, But Only Once.
Written by
Regina Y. Swint
November 2011
Written by
Regina Y. Swint
November 2011

To put this into perspective, I posted this blog in another forum, after reading a post from a friend who is approaching his 40th birthday.  First, he feared getting older.  Now, he fears dying too young.  Geez.  After reading so many of his laments and woes, I finally told him that maybe he just needs to move.  And some other stuff.  So, here's the blog that came from those thoughts.

Life is full of an abundance of fears.  Most people have fears of something, and I suspect that most fearless people are those who have never fallen, failed or been felled. 

Me?  I've been falling down all my life, failed innumerably, been felled constantly; so fearlessness has never been a luxury of mine.

And the list is endless for many of us.

Fear of rejection, especially as a writer.

Fear of being laughed at, talked about, picked on, disliked, or excluded.

Fear of losing.  A job, a loved one, an opportunity, a competition, a tooth.

Fear of being alone, dying alone, dying, period.

Fear of Armageddon.  Not so much for me, but other folks really have an issue with it.

Fear of reality TV. 

But at some point, while you're still living, you've got to say to hell with it.  Shit.  Put your fear in your fucking back pocket and move.  Even just a little bit.  What's the worst that can happen?  You'll die?  Sure.  But you're gonna die if you stand still, too, so go already.

There will always be somebody out there who gets the guy, the girl, the job, the attention, or the money, when you feel more deserving, but so what?  Get tired, but then get tired of getting tired and get to gettin'. 

And here's a thought.  Just maybe the reason you didn't get what you think you should have gotten is because you're not as good as you think you are.  It happens.  Trust me.  So get better.  Shucks. 

That's not to say that everyone should and can learn to be fearless; but just because you're born in a barrel doesn't mean you have to stay there.  Hell, the crabs who got out are probably the ones who lost a leg or two from being pulled back down.  But isn't getting out worth taking the risk?  What's holding you back? That fear again?  Patooey!

Sure, I've seen the fearless fall in what I imagine it would be like to watch one of those giant, larger-than-life trees (redwoods, I believe), in a thunderous, unsettling crash, wreaking mayhem and havoc on its way down and in its wake.  But even then, I can't help but admire they way they once stood up.  Tall, straight, and always certain, even though their time on this earth is as uncertain as the rest of ours.  Living and standing in spite of, or perhaps, in reverence of time.  The way we all should live, despite our fears. 

Yes, the mighty fall hard, but so do the rest of us.  Who the hell cares who was closer to the ground at the time?  Blah.

I'm not always certain, but I am certain that fear of dying is no reason not to live.  I cannot, will not let fear cripple me.  Immobilize me.  It's madness.  And I'm already crazy enough.  I've come to believe that that whole thing about dying a thousand deaths is true.  I live to die only once, if I can help it.

Let's be friends

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  • Jessica Vealitzek

    I'm learning this, too. I used to, probably out of fear, try to control too many things. You're right, it's freeing to finally realize there's no point!

    I recently read a quote that went something like, "If you worry something will happen and then it happens, you've lived it twice."

  • Regina Y. Swint

    Hahahaha!  Thank you, Bridget.  Good grief, my expletives need work.  As for life, I find that I need to take more risks in life and in my writing, but it'll probably take a few more kicks in the butt/ego.

  • Regina Y. Swint

    Hi, Anne!
    I think I've had this thought a few times, too.  Probably blogged it a few times, even.  Worry is so binding, and it's a shame that it took me years and years of my life and too many observations of bad things happening to "get" that worrying and fear are not the best things to carry around.  I said once (or more) that fear tempers adrenaline that makes us courageous; but what the heck does worry do, besides age us?  Actually, that just rhymed.  I never added that part about worry until just now.  Hmmh.  That's dang near Tweet-worthy. :)

    As for the fallen question, isn't it funny how much concern we place on things that really shouldn't concern us at all?  I think we're much luckier than the trees, since we can actually get back up and "re-plant" ourselves somewhere else.  And keep growing.  :)

  • Bridget Straub

    Okay, first off there is something hysterical about using "shit", "fucking", and "Patooey in the same post. I have to admit I kind of love it. I also agree with you that life is all about being brave enough to take a chance.