NaNoNonSense a.k.a. NaNinSanity and the Evil Word Count
Written by
Candice W. Coghill
November 2011
Written by
Candice W. Coghill
November 2011

So, it’s 2:05 AM, Eastern Standard Time, in Florida, on Thursday, November 3, 2011, and I haven’t yet achieved my Evil Word Count for Wednesday, November 2, 2011, Day 2 of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo to those in the know).

If you’re unfamiliar with NaNoWriMo, here’s the premise in its simplest terms: Between November 1 and November 30, write a novel of at least 50,000 words, then upload it to the NaNo website for Evil Word-Count verification. If you’re successful, you get a certificate. Ta-da!

My personal goal is a paltry 2,000 words a day.  The suggested goal is an even more paltry 1,667.  I set my goal a little higher, because I do plan to celebrate (a.) my birthday, (b.) my Mom’s birthday and (c.) Thanksgiving, all of which occur during November.

And furthermore! We elected to participate in something called “Writer’s Digest Poem a Day (PAD) Chapbook Challenge,” which requires the writing of one poem every day during November.  On a prompted topic.  Or using a prompted format. At least with PAD, you don’t have to write 50K.  You don’t even have to upload anything.  And you have the entire month of December to edit your poetry and then submit it in a rather orderly fashion as you would a manuscript.  Compared to NaNo, PAD is a cakewalk!

The KH also will be participating in another romp through chemo-land next week, which will kill not only several thousands more of my red blood cells, but also several hours of my time.

We’ll also bathe frequently and take care of “necessary” bodily functions. Heck, we might even fill up on gas a time or two during November and maybe stop at the grocery store.

Before the official start of NaNo, I laid in a supply of groceries for the month in sufficient quantity to feed Hannibal and his troops.  I’m certain, however, to run out of cat food.  (Nothing can be more destabilizing to a writer intent on making his or her Evil Word Count than a cat sitting two feet away staring a Menacing Cat Stare and threatening telepathically to report you to the local Humane Society if you don’t feed them immediately!)

So anyway, we were discussing the Evil Word Count.  I did achieve my goal on Day 1.  Just barely.  I hopped happily up to the NaNo site to post my count and proudly watched the little meter display a faint blue line signifying my percentage of completion.  (Admittedly, I took the time to check out the word counts of my writing buddies and to sneer through my screen at those who hadn’t yet posted their word counts at 12:07 AM, Eastern Standard Time.)

But today. Today! Well, yesterday, actually. Day 2. Day 2 was a bust. I over-achieved the suggested Evil Word Count, but I’m not gonna post it because I haven’t achieved my personal Evil Word Count. And yesterday was JUST DAY TWO !!!! Already, the NaNo gods are laughing up their sleeves at my impending failure.

“And so,” the bigger smart-alecks among you might ask, “why then, exactly, are you here writing a blog post when you should be using these 500 or so words to finish your dang goal for yesterday, already?”

Because, Dear Reader, I am certifiably insane.  I also am terminally polite and wanted to be the first to inform you that if you don’t see a post from me any time in the near future, it’s not because I have forgotten you. Oh, no! It will be one of two reasons: Either I’m lost in NaNo Land … or the men in the little white coats have finally come to take me away to the funny farm …

where life is beautiful ALL the time …

and you may sing the rest of the lyrics to yourselves. I’m outta here. For now :)

Let's be friends

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  • Candice W. Coghill

    Cat: I'm glad I cracked you up ;) At least it took your mind off your fingers for a little while (I hope!)... And yeah, I just had to peek at everyone else's Evil Word Counts! I promise you, though, that I don't look in people's medicine cabinets when I visit their homes!  As to the men ... they finally showed up, and 3 out of 4 are really cute. Two of them are gay, though, so don't go getting all excited ;)  Oh wait, the men in the white coats ! LOL Brat, you got me sidelined there, thought you were talking about my characters!  The guys in the white coats didn't have enough muscles to get me into that strait jacket!  Big Hugs to you and I hope your recovery is going well!

    Kat: You're such a perker-upper! Thanks :) And yeah, I'm an audacious old broad and proud of it ! ;) The cat is fed, thanks, and sleeping and purring at the same time. lol

    Lynne: So far, I'm keeping my head above water, although today I may need to call the lifeguard.  Just haven't felt well or motivated. But, I'll get my 2nd wind later, I'm sure.  

    Sorry to hear you'll miss that family trip to Vermont :( I'd like to consult with you about radiation on the Kicking *ss Discussion thread about your consult, when you get the chance....

    Love your Pooh quote ... and Pooh, in general. Today's prompt was better; what did you think?

    Hugs to all,



  • Cat von Hassel-Davies

    Candice you never cease to crack me up. I didn't even know you were supposed to put in a word count daily, LOL if it wasn't for Janice I never would have figured it out.

    I am hysterical that you actually checked out your writing buddies and sneered, you're evil just like the word count MWaahhaaaahahaha.

    Not only do those creatures stare and are capable of telepathy they also will nudge and nudge and nudge and rub and rub and rub until they either wear off your skin or you give in and feed them.

    Waiting with you for the men in those clean, skin tight, ass showing, bicep bulging... oh wait I'm getting sidelined here. Waiting for the men in their clean white coats.


    Hugs from recovery land!

  • Kat Ward

    Too damn funny. To me, you're a Gold Medal Winner just for attempting NaNo, let alone jump into every-single-day poem writing—and then, having the audacity to think you should have time to shop and fill up on gas! (But, oh, yes, do feed the cat.)

  • Lynne Favreau

    Candice, no worries about word count, it only takes one good run to catch up and even surpass it.

    I had my radiation consult today. i'll starting week of 19th. Now, it's six and a half weeks which means it'll run a few days past Christmas. I guess I won't be going to Vermont with the family this year. Pooh.

    Speaking of Pooh, I almost used this quote yesterday. “A quotation is a handy thing to have about, saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself.”

    A.A. Milne

    First thing I wrote today, "Sort of--lame!"

    Great minds think a like!

  • Candice W. Coghill

    LOL my poor Baby ! (I'm laughing with you, not at you!) The grass is always greener, isn't it ? lol.... I surely hope you're over that flu ! Yuk ! Nothing worse.... My cats are freaked out at my new schedule! They're like... Mom ? aren't you ever coming to bed anymore ? Cats do no like change, as you know !  I'm learning a lot about myself too, which was my whole point in doing this NaNo thing.  I surely don't think that the bit of fluffy chick-lit (ack!) that I'm scribbling away on is going to be any kind of blockbuster best-seller ! lmao  I'm glad we're in it together, too :)

  • Samantha Anastacia

    You are hilarious girlfriend! I am so proud of you for doing this really! I do not know how hard it is going through chemo and doing this but it must be harder than what I go through, if it makes you feel any better I got the 48 hour stomache flu and on halloween night spent most of it in the bathroom hoping I didn't wake my paranoid cat who freaks out since the last time i got stomach flu. Lol  And as a result of sleeping most of NaNoday 1 away literally came in under the wire MY TIME with my word count which admittedly was my first goal of 2500 but not my perfect of 3000. :(  And as a result of helping my hubbie get to his hunt and picking up after he left and dealing with my son who was home early from school because OF COURSE it HAD to be a half-day, I didnt get around to anything until 10pm! ONCE again coming in under my 3000 literally ten minutes before midnight and still with no workable outline! So yes I get the crazy part, whats great is today i met the first goal already of over 1700 and will do hopefully the 3000 for the first time this evening after I get my son all done with dreaded homework and picking up his room etc. I am leargning some things about myself along the way-maybe I will blog about it tomorrow-but I dont kow if I want to waste the word count either! lol

    Thanks for going for it with me though!


  • Candice W. Coghill

    lol Thanks, Brenda ! I did (finally) achieve my Day 2 goal.  And Day 3 is ... well ... progressing! :) You're welcome re: PAD.  Yes, it surely s a diversion. Lynne Favreau and I hate the prompts, though. Personally, I think they're kind of lame ;)

  • Brenda Moguez

    Keep fighting, woman!  Keeping your mind busy and finger's busy is your force field.  And thanks for the note about PAD, so far I've made it to day three.  It's a nice diversion to my endless editing.