How Do You Pronounce **?
Contributor
Written by
Helen W. Mallon
September 2011
Contributor
Written by
Helen W. Mallon
September 2011

Along with other Philadelphia Stories authors, I will be reading on WXPN Radio's Live at Kelly Writers House, to be aired on Monday, October 3 at 8 p.m.  88.5 in Philly, and on the Web for my fans in Monrovia and Antarctica.   


I'm going to read from two stories, one because it reflects my Quaker roots, and the other because it's published and available online.  The FCC description of what you can't say on the radio makes a fascinating tone poem in itself.   Preparation is arduous, study complex. Here's what Kelly Writers House sent from the FCC Rules  (I'm not sure I'd want to be related to the person who wrote this):


“Assh*le,  F*ck, F*cker, F*cking, Sh*t, C*nt, Clit, N*gger or other racial slurs, Bitch is inappropriate if it refers to a woman, Balls, Blow, Suck, Dick, Pussy, Swallow if referring to genitals, "The definition, language or material that, in context, depicts or describes, in terms patently offensive as measured by contemporary community standards for the broadcast medium, sexual or excretory activities or organs, vulgar and lewd references to the male genitals and to masturbation and sodomy broadcast in the context of 'explicit references' to masturbation, ejaculation, breast size, penis size, sexual intercourse, nudity, urination, oral-genital contact, erections, sodomy, bestiality,menstruation and testicles, sexual activity with a child."


Try reading that several times fast and see what happens.  


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