Today is the 10-year anniversary of 9/11. I feel funny about posting something without making reference to this national milestone. My husband and I met almost 6 years after the tragic events of that day, and by then, life had largely returned to what is the new normal. For people more closely connected with the events of that day, carrying on with life has a much different meaning. Those who lost loved ones will most likely always carry their pain with them even as they go through the routine motions of their days. It is fitting to think of them on this day, and of all the lives which were lost.
Despite the solemnity of the day, this post is about new beginnings, and is written in a light tone. I hope it shows that despite the events which changed the landscape of our country, we are still able to laugh, to love and to find beauty in our lives.
My friend Ruchi wrote this great post about meeting her husband, and I enjoyed it so much that it inspired me to share how I met MY husband. He gave me the green light, and after seeing that a number of you wanted to read about it (thanks for the feedback!), here it is.
Preface: I dated via the shidduch system, which is basically like blind dating except it’s with the intent to marry (as opposed to just date). Also, no touchy-touchy. At all. Hands off. There is also a fairly thorough background check, as well as screening for genetic diseases (Cystic Fibrosis and Tay-Sachs are prevalent among Ashkenazi Jews). in Yeshivish circles, the dating period is insanely short by secular standards, like, a couple months or less. On these dates, we do a combination of small talk and discussions of our goals, outlooks, etc. If we want to continue dating, we contact the shadchan, who acts as a go-between (way easier to deal with/dish out rejection through a third party, let me tell you). When the couple is comfortable enough to interact directly, the shadchan steps back, but is still used to consult if necessary.
And now for the good part:
It was June of 2007. I was in St. Louis for the summer after spending an inspiring year studying at Neve Yerushalayim. My Rabbi had recommended that I continue dating while in America. I was highly skeptical about this, since St. Louis wasn’t exactly a hotspot of single Orthodox Jewish guys. And, besides, I was positive my bashert was in Israel, where I was planning on living for the rest of my life. But since my Rabbi said to try, I put forth a little effort.